The newsletter is
not filled with facts. It is filled with truth. There is no such book as the Martyr Suffering League Manual. Even
so, the manual does exist. It is an unwritten, often unspoken set of beliefs
that keeps our egos jumping and our guilt intact. Even though the Martyr
Suffering League is not existent, but the nonexistent organization has members.
The EZosophy Manual is another nonentity, but when you read the would-be text
mentioned below, watch it strike a chord. Don't take this seriously. Take it
lightly. It is a humorous attempt to peg the ego and its drama.
Is your
life as easy as you want it to be? Do you have more pain and suffering (P & S) than necessary? Is P
& S expendable? Is all P & S necessary? Is any part of P
& S optional? For the answer to this and other questions concerning P &
S, consult that Martyr Suffering League
Manual (MSLM). The MSLM has unequivocally stated that all P & S is
necessary. The Martyr Suffering League (MSL) campaign slogan -- "no pain,
no gain" -- is gathering momentum. MSL members deify suffering. They
constantly crusade for members. They hold their best meetings on Sunday
mornings. The MSLM contains the following chapters:
Chapter 1 "Shame and Blame for All: The Easy Way
to Stomp out Innocence."
Chapter 2 "Practical
Suffering for the Inner 2-Year-Old."
Chapter 3 " I Was a Pain in All Seasons. "
Chapter 4 "Spontaneous P & S for the Elderly."
Chapter 5 "P & S for All Holidays, with a
Special Section on Christmas and Easter."
Chapter 6 "Creative Suffering for All Ages"
Chapter 7
"Body Tales: From Rocking to Rotting."
Chapter 8 "Where Should You Draw the Line When You Whine?"
There are over 70
chapters in the manual. Every copy I see is well worn and dog‑eared. I question
the wisdom of the whole MSL movement and their championed slogan.
EZosophists know
that much of our P & S is optional. The EZosophist Movement is actually a
growing grass roots movement that counters the insatiable need that the MSL
members have to suffer and promote P & S. The MSL has been very successful.
Many of its leaders do not know that they are members. P & S are "cunning
and baffling." People, who think of themselves as positive, live in deep denial. P & S is found in the young,
old, rich and poor. Unless the disease of P & S goes into recovery, its
victims' lives end in death or insanity. We live in a culture that values
unnecessary P & S. I call unnecessary suffering Ego Driven Suffering (EDS).
EDS is a set of behaviors we learn as kids from our families. The school, the
work place and our religious institutions reinforce the beliefs and behaviors
of the Hardaholic. The following are a set of behaviors taken from the EZosophist
Manual (EZM) which identify EDS:
1. Washing Suffering includes
dreading to do and complaining about washing the
a) windows b)
clothes c) floors d) kids e) dog f) boat bottom g) swimming pool walls.
2. Cleaning Suffering includes
dreading to do and complaining about cleaning the
a) closet b) desk
at the office c) inside of house including vacuuming, making up beds, dusting
d) fish tanks e) storage room f) under the lawn mower.
3.
IRS Tax Preparation Suffering
and Panic.
4.
Shopping Suffering includes
suffering and mental cruelty around shopping for
a) major
appliances b) groceries c) cell phones and minute packages d) wedding,
Christmas, birthday, anniversary presents.
5. Letter Suffering includes
suffering and hardship about writing
a) business
letters b) thank you letters c) complaint letters d) seasonal cards.
6.
Maintenance Suffering is
suffering about doing things that must be done to keep things working. We
include freaking out about
a) routine annual
check up (dentist or doctor) b) changing car oil c) mowing grass or suffering
about hiring someone to mow the grass (I should do it myself to save money or I
need the exercise) d) backing up hard disk e) weeding the flower bed.
If you can identify
with any of these behaviors, you may be a member of the MSL. If you whine a
lot, you can be sure you are a member. The EZM carefully outlines ways to move
from being a major league sufferer towards Easy Discipleship.
A few of the
suggestions you may want to consider are:
1. Cut out
complaining. It's okay to share honest emotions, but suffering about doing
things is not emotional honesty.
2. Do not
spend your conversations reciting your "to do" list.
3. Just do
it now. Instead of putting it off, just jump in and do it now.
4. If you
can't do all of it now, do part of it now. Celebrate your progress, and do the
rest later. Do not beat up on yourself for not completing the task.
5. If you
put off doing something, just put it off. Do not "get" yourself if
you don't do it. Don't suffer and feel guilty about not doing what you are not
doing.
6. Don't
mentally create your future then ruin the present by suffering about the
projection. Live "one day at a time."
The manual
doesn't really exist except in our minds and behavior. I wrote about the
MSLM before and someone wanted to order
it. Take it easy and drop the seriousness.