The EZ Secret Newsletter
Volume 53: "Living EZosophy"

In This Issue...

Judy, Judy, Judy – Still Judy
Terri Hendrix performs "Hole in my Pocket"
Anne's Schedule
Quotes
Anne Art
Humor

Anne Sermons Gillis
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Phone: 281-419-1775
Email: anne@annegillis.com

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Judy, Judy, Judy – Still Judy

It's been over a week since my best friend left the planet. My mind and heart are still wrapped around my loss. There's not really anything else I can write about or focus on, so today you get another dose of Judy.

We had a celebration of her life on Saturday evening. There were songs, Judy testimonials, and her granddaughter did a hula hoop dance to music. The number was so amazing that it could be on "You've Got Talent." Judy loved to watch her granddaughter doing her thing and we thrilled to witness such talent and exuberance. We were left with an "ain't it grand to be alive" moment.

Earlier in the evening her boyfriend James declared, "Many of you have referred to me as Judy's boyfriend. Judy wasn't my girlfriend; she was my soul mate." They met in September and were just opening to those tender moments of relationship. He was retired career military. She was a peacenik. Go figure.

Judy's family knew her as a mom, a grandmother, and a sister, but at her life celebration, her family got to see her in a different way – they saw the lives she touched and guided and a crowded room of Judy admirers, mentees, lovers, and soul mates. James thought they were soul mates, but Judy had many soul mates. She touched so many of our souls and then stayed there, hovering, protecting, correcting, and loving us. She was the embodiment of Kuan Yin, the goddess of compassion.

The Power of a Journal

Once I asked someone if they had a journal. The woman replied, "No. I'm afraid someone might read it when I die. I don't won't anyone in my business." Judy and I laughed at this because we both hoped that people would read our journals after we'd passed and think we were smart, funny, and wise. So I knew it would be okay to read from her gratitude journal at the memorial. One of her entries: "It's been a while since I wrote down thank yous – never too late – thanks for that!" I shared entries about her appreciation for her family and friends. The thank yous spanned from 2000 to 2007 and showed the transformation she was undergoing. My thank you today is for that journal and that I got to read it and that her children will get to read it.

When I met Judy she carried a lot of bitterness, shame, and guilt. Over the eleven years I knew her I watched her transformation. She went from shit to Shinola.  As a side note, she used the "s" word frequently. Her friends had taken to quoting her famous stock phrase, "It's all bullshit!" She was an angel with street smarts.

The Power of Community

What led to this transformation, this flowering of the human soul? No question, it was community. Judy had scattered friends, but in 2004, with encouragement of Daphne and me, she started attending Potlucks for Peace. Our beloved Tomi opened her home to a small group of visionaries who talked of world issues, bitched about human injustices, championed social justice, and ate a lot of good food. She attended concerts, spent holidays, went to the movies, and ate out with her pot luck friends. She had to drive over 20 miles in Houston rush hour traffic to see her friends, but her friends were her world to her. She attended those Monday night meetings every week for eight years.

We are tribal people. We are not islands. We thrive in community. I recently read a story of a man who was told he had six months to live. He returned to his native land to die. He lay in bed waiting, but neighbors started visiting and soon he felt well enough to sit up, then strong enough to get up, then strong enough to plant a garden. He never expected to see the harvest, but he did. He spent his days in a community gathering place talking and joking with friends. He not only became cancer free, he also lived for years and died in his mid-nineties. His miraculous recovery and longevity were attributed to community.

It's been reported that meeting regularly with the same group increases your longevity by seven years, and I think with Judy, it did. Her fragile little body flourished under the protective arms of our community and she felt included, valuable, and loved. The Monday after she died we met and shared Judy stories. We were a community in shock, but together, the burden was lighter. We will go on, but she will live in us. She lives in our memories, in our conversations, and in our hearts.

I'm hoping I can gather my life and go on. I dropped by her apartment today to meet with her daughters. The dismantling of her life's remnants began. As an AA member, Judy lived with the motto "One day at a time." and so my life must go the same way – one day at a time right now and that's all I can do. I am so grateful for all the support and love I received over the past few days. One of my friends said, "There's nothing like a fresh angel." So I'm hoping my fresh angel is in some dimension looking after me and making my life easier and easier. This week I can really use a break.

Terri Hendrix performs "Hole in my Pocket"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb1_qgquJxA

It was such a treat to meet Terri Hendrix and Lloyd Maines on Sunday. They are two nice people and great musicians to boot. It took my mind off my Judy loss, and Terri was great to give me a lot of support. This peppy little song had cool lyrics. They will open for Robert Earl Keen at The House of Blues on Dec. 27, 2012 in Houston.

Editor: Charles Heineke of TheDoorway

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Anne's Schedule

Sunday, Dec. 16, 11 AM
Unity Webster, TX
"The Wisdom Of Jesus"
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If you would like Anne to speak to your group or organization, you may reach her at 281-419-1775 or contact Anne by email. Anne is also available for your network marketing telephone conferences.

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Quotes

Courage you have, and the knowledge that we are all pilgrims together, winding through unknown territory, home.
– Fra Giovanni Giocondo

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I always notice it coincides with their own wishes.
– Susan B. Anthony

Why don't we "be present" this Christmas instead of giving presents.
– Terri Hendrix

Maybe the price of admission into some peoples' hearts is the willingness to listen to them complain. People use complaints as sort of a wall. But if we stay and listen long enough, without trying to fix them or improve their outlook, we might find gold.
– Anne Sermons Gillis

Anne Art

Humor

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