Editor's Note: This article was originally sent out without the last three paragraphs. My sincere apologies for missing this. Those have been included in this issue.

Hopelessness

Do you feel hopeless? Is hopelessness a common occurrence for you? If it is, you may want to look deeper. If you are not living in a third world country, literally starving, or being beaten by a spouse, and you still feel frequent hopelessness, then consider this: “Hopelessness is addictive.” What, surely not. But yes, just a surely as a bee flies around on two tiny seemingly inadequate wings, hopelessness is addictive.

And addiction is rampant in our culture. Americans take 80% of the pain killers in the world. That is more than 110 tons of addictive opiates a year. (Source: http://articles.businessinsider.com/2012-05-14/news/31695976_1_rate-of-american-babies-prescription-drug-abuse-opiates) Something is wrong. Emotional pain winds up in our bodies and some people have the courage to do what it takes to break free. Better still, how about healing the emotional pain before it shows up as pain or stress related illnesses?

Let’s start with patterns. A pattern is defined as “unconscious repetitive behavior.” Do you always windup at the end of the same rope? If so, you are probably living out a pattern. Maybe you even have a hopelessness pattern.

We tend to believe that fixing the content of our lives will make life better. Granted, we can sometimes get temporary relief, but regardless of how much we fix our external world, until we break through our psychologically bound limitations, we cannot be free.

If you are intent on breaking free, the following questions can start the process.

• What thoughts led me to this place? Or what thoughts committed that crime?
• Are they the same thoughts I’ve had many times before?
• What are my five greatest pet peeves?
• Do my pet peeves always consummate worry, fear, or angry righteousness?
  

Here are some favorites that can be counted on for upsets.

1. My weight is out of control. I am too ________ (fat, flabby, out of control, etc.)
2. My mate does not ___________ (give me enough attention, care, act right, dress right, etc.)
3. The economy is falling apart. I am not safe. What will happen to me if _______?
4. The environment. We are doomed for destruction.

Taking a look at the above questions does not discount genuine problems that might occur in some area, but dangling these thoughts above our lives ensures that the ego stays entrenched in pain and hopelessness.

Examine the things that drag you toward helplessness and hopelessness and be aware of how the mind uses those to keep you in line.

The four I’ve listed above come from my patterns, but I think they are popular tools of self-demise. My ego is clever in the way she leads me to this victim place where I feel like a homeless waif with no hope.” I really feel sorry for myself. It’s subtle, but when I dig deep enough, I find that subconscious hopeless is driving me. I’ve divested myself of a lot of this behavior, but it still creeps back. Fortunately, just the realization of what I’m doing usually breaks my unconscious identification with hopelessness.

Changing life supporting but illusory patterns takes conscious questioning, yet the most important aspect of change is our willingness to have a better life. We are comfortable in pain or feeling sorry for ourselves. We relish the thought that nothing can or will change for us, but we are not comfortable with pleasure and a sense of safety in our lives. Check out my article on increasing pleasure, Treasure Your Pleasure: http://theezsecret.com/2012/11/19/treasure-your-pleasure.

What to do? How about going on a hopelessness fast? When you think anything is hopeless say to yourself, “This hopelessness is not about my current situation; it is about returning to my hopeless hangout. I am willing to rest my mind and emotions in another place. I am willing to be changed. I am willing to accept a life of safety, opportunities, and happiness.

Finally take a breath and exhale with gusto while thinking, “I am free to be, I am free to be here, I am free to be here now, and that is enough.”

Some people are trapped in hopeless lives. Their lots are miserable, but for most people reading this, you live in a place where your need for food, water, clothing, shelter, and physical safety are covered. We are privileged, and even though we suffer great depths of psychological pain, we most likely have the ability to move away from pain, hopeless, and despair. So the next time you head for the Hopeless Hangout, think again. Do you really want to go there? Do you want to wallow in this familiar spot that hides you for your life? Do want to live your life as a hopelessness maker or a hopelessness breaker? Life is available to you now. Give it a chance.

Life is Like A River

I just love Fali Engineer. He’s brimming with wisdom and always sports a mischievous little grin. He speaks with a soft voice, but for a man in his mid-eighties, he’s alive, funny, brilliant and provocative. I’ve heard him talk about a river needing a support structure. The ground supports the river. Without banks the water would just spill out and never reach its destiny. At my request, Fali wrote this so I could share it with you.

In Fali’s words:

For a river to be utilized usefully before reaching the ocean, its banks have to be always capable of guiding its water within their confines. If we equate our life to a river, then it also should have two banks that promote its welfare at all times. These are the Absolute and relative values of life between which our life should flow. The Absolute gives stability, like the uniform foundation of a building, and the relative gives flexibility to use in the building as needed, but always with the support and safety of the foundation.

For us, the Absolute is the home of all the laws of Nature, and being open to It means that our various actions do not violate these laws and so promote our welfare, as mentioned above. In meditation we go to the Absolute, and in activity to the relative values of life - the two banks between which our river of life should flow.