Living EZosophy: Volume 65, February 26, 2013
Published Every Tuesday Morning

  Control: Ego’s Last Triumph

There are four stories that hold our lives together. These stories not only dominate our minds and limit our perception of life; they also define who we think we are. These mental transactions fly under the radar of our awareness until we wake up and see patterns of self-limitation and ineffectiveness.

These stories have individual and unique twists, but when they are stripped of the extras, they boil down to the following:

1. I am not enough.
2. I am wrong.
3. I am not wanted.
4. I don’t belong (fit in) because I am weird (different).

There are many definitions for the word ego, so it's best to define how I'm using the term. I speak of the ego as a part of our mind that holds us in check so that we cannot make changes in our lives. The ego likes things the way they are. I am not using the word ego to mean the part of our minds that get things done – that helps us operate. People often say, "We need an ego to live on this planet and to help us live our lives." People speak of loving your ego. I'm talking about the ego as a limiting controller of our lives. The ego sells us the illusion that the mind, as we know it, with its limited perception and unexamined assumptions, can fix things. Sometimes we need to control, but there is a debilitating aspect of control that keeps us locked away from our lives. This control usurps spontaneity, thwarts creativity, and keeps us mired in virtual bullshit.

The ego uses these four stories in many ways. Take the belief that "I am not enough" and come up with a bigger tale of limit. The story goes like this. I am not enough. No matter what I do, how much I produce, how much I please others, how good I am, or how selfless I become, it will never be enough. This truth is unbearable; therefore I must hide it from myself, even though I am working myself endlessly to be good enough. I see not enough in everything I see. I don't give enough; I don't get enough from others. There is not enough of anything – not enough time, resources, money, love.

What life's path can we create from the belief that "I am wrong"? I am wrong, so I will have to work meticulously to cover my a__ so as to never make a mistake. It is imperative that when I speak with someone, that I win and be right all the time. If I am wrong, I feel ashamed and stupid. It's hard to admit that I've made a mistake.  Because I so project the belief that I am wrong to others, I have a hyper-vigilant ego that looks for others' mistakes. I am quick to correct them or point them out.

The thought "I am not wanted" is the key thought that maintains the feeling of emotional abandonment in our guts. This first idea keeps us in unhealthy relationships, depressed, and/or a host of other tragic scenarios. The life, when directed by "I am not wanted," goes like this. I am not wanted, therefore there must be something wrong with me. The ego brings in other core negative beliefs and wraps them together and pushes them down by using denial, drama, or addiction.

And, finally, the idea that "I don't belong (fit in) because I am weird (different)" creates an illusion of aloneness. Even when I'm with others, I feel alone. I don't join things, or, if I do, I get hurt and leave, because I always need to prove the false belief that I don't belong or fit in.

I have to make myself indispensable to others so they cannot throw me away or I will outwardly live my life by being very weird. I once read an article by a gay witch. I have nothing against either, but I bet if we could delve into his deeper emotional secrets, he is living out a script of being really weird.

Traditional therapies can go a long way toward helping relieve the angst of existence, but in the final analysis, my self recovery resided more in my ability to surrender than in my ability to change my beliefs. Certainly affirmations, such as "I am enough, I am right as I am, I am loved and wanted, and I belong" are better thoughts than the ones I've talked about, but trying to get ourselves to believe them takes so much time and effort.

So how can we get free from these beliefs? What will deliver the emotional freedom we seek? Several words come to mind, and those words speak of letting go. Surrender, letting go, and allowing…. These words are about letting something bigger than our limits restore us to wholeness. I've developed a model called The EZ U Process that might help you make the transition to freedom from the old stories. Use this when you are emotionally wrought.

The EZ U Process

Step 1: I admit that today, in this moment, my life is a struggle. (This is your statement of intention.)

Step 2: I am willing to consider the possibility that my life can be easier. (You don't have to know how – you only have to declare your willingness to change.)

Step 3: I dedicate my mind and heart to discovering an easier way to perceive and create my life. (This is a commitment to yourself and your well-being.)

Step 4: I am willing to be aware of any conscious or hidden need to suffer or struggle. (Still, you don't have to do anything; just make your statement of declaration.)

Step 5: Anything other than ease is fear. (This is simply recognition of the truth. Reflect on what seems hard right now and recognize how it fits into one of the four life stories.)

Step 6: I release my need to control and fix this situation. (This is another step in surrendering the problem you have or pain you currently feel.)

Step 7: I relax my body and become aware of my body's needs, then attend to them. (Am I hungry? Do I need to stand up and stretch? Would a bath be good for me right now?)

Step 8: I face my emotions. I feel them as sensations in my body, not as feelings I attach to words. (For example, my stomach is tight; my head hurts. As I become aware of those, I focus briefly on those sensations.)

Step 9: I surrender my situation, problem, or feeling to GUS (God/Universe/Spirit). (Imagine yourself looking at a vast, star-filled sky. Take your mind off the situation and go to this image of expansion. Lose yourself - just for a moment - in the grandeur of the universe. Use any image that works for you, such as a blue, cloud filled sky or the ocean.)

Step 10: I write down any reaction or feeling I have as a result of letting go (or reflect silently).

By this time you should feel more present and lighter. As you continue to face each emotional upset in your life as if it is not a problem, only a situation to surrender, the stories that operate beneath the surface will begin to dissolve. The beauty of the EZ U process is that you don't have to go through years of therapy to feel okay. You can get a more immediate release by dealing with emotional issues as they come up. When you get adept at this process, you'll find you can go through it quickly in your head and let go of emotions within minutes of experiencing them.

EZ U Process excerpted from EZosophy: The Art and Wisdom of Easy or at Least Easier Living. © 2003 Easy Times Press

  Astral City: A Spiritual Journey

Click the graphic above to watch the trailer video.

I can't say this movie is accurate in any way, but it does challenge beliefs and offers different possibilities for afterlife. It chronicles the transformation of a man after death. He awakens in Nosso Lar (an astral city), facing the consequences of his self-centered life, and, through a series of experiences, begins the journey toward love and compassion. It is almost two hours long and has English subtitles, but I loved the movie. It ended on a good note, I cried, and I felt uplifted. That's enough for me.

  Health Tip: Filter Your Shower Water

Use a filter on your shower head. The skin is the largest organ of the body. When we shower, we drink in water through our skin. Our skin drinks in more pollutants, or breathes them in through water vapor and steam, in one shower than it would if we drank eight glasses of unfiltered water.

Some Examples of Shower Filters

Fortunately, shower filters are easy to install and inexpensive. Some representative examples are shown above. I could tell the difference immediately after installing a shower filter; again, handy to have that husband! There's no chlorine smell in the shower and my hair loves the pure water.

  Last Rites & a Port-a-Potty

What do last rites and a port-a-potty have in common? Click my sister Lois' picture above and my blog post will tell you.   Communicating Love This talk was presented on 2/17/2013 at Unity in Webster, Texas. We live surrounded by and immersed in unconditional love. This transcendent love is the essence of our being. It communicates all the time, yet in our day to day lives we live in a more contracted state, and in this state we often lose sight of how to communicate love to others. Anne presents six practical ways to communicate love to others. Click the image above to listen to Anne's talk on Communicating Love.

Click to visit Anne's Video Bits Page

Remember, if someone forwarded this email to you, you can click this link to have a copy delivered every Tuesday morning to your own email inbox.

NOTE: If you are viewing this on a cell phone, be sure to scroll right to see the other column.

Click the Subscribe button above to subscribe and get your own copy of Anne's newsletter sent to you every Tuesday morning. If you no longer wish to receive this newsletter, UNsubscribe by clicking this link. Click this Archives button for past issues of Anne's The EZ Secret Newsletter.   Follow Anne.   Help Spread the Word. Find Me on YouTube Help others learn about Anne's articles, books, CDs, Videos, training, etc. by referring them to her web sites or by clicking these Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube links. Like the newsletter? You can support it through your donation via PayPal. It's certainly not necessary, but it is greatly appreciated. It's not tax deductible, but a small $8 donation helps defray our costs. Thank you in advance. Anne's Services Need a Coach or a Rent-a-Friend? Interested in getting ongoing support? Try life coaching with Anne. Anne offers options for both short-term and long-term coaching. Contact her for details. Contact Anne by email or Click here to view information on Anne's One Year Seminar. Schedule Anne You may reach Anne by phone at 281-419-1775 or click the button below to contact Anne by email. Anne is also available to officiate at weddings and funerals.

  Anne's Schedule

April 27

"Buddha at the Gaspump"
Interview by Rick Archer

http://batgap.com/

We will post a link when it's online.

  Ask Annie G

Dear Annie G,

Is it better to drink filtered water or bottled water?

Sherry Blades, Memphis, TN

Dear Sherry,

Bottled water has its place, but filtered water, on the whole, is best for the planet, the landfill, and for us. Bottled water is the only water you can drink on an airplane or in some remote places, so I'm going to drink it rather than get dehydrated. If I'm in a social gathering and my host brings a bottle of water, I will graciously drink it. When your city water supply is extremely polluted, then you may have to stick with bottled water. Some cities' water supplies have temporary problems, caused by occurrences like flood waters that compromise the water supply, so bottled water would be the best choice.

But, plastic bottles pose several problems. The BPA (Bisphenol A) in plastic water bottles tends to leach into the water we drink in minute amounts. These chemicals mimic estrogen in the human body. This is not good news for men. Who wants man boobs? It's also bad news for women, because estrogen, or too much estrogen in the body, has been linked to breast cancer. The UN's World Health Organization panel calls hormone-disrupting chemicals a 'global threat.' Click here to read the UN WHO panel's report.

As for bottles, think of the millions of plastic water bottles we throw away. It's estimated that over 60,000,000 plastic bottles go into our US landfills every day. Not only is there a problem with the space they take up, but the bottles' chemicals breakdown, combine with rain water, and travel through our estuaries and rivers into the oceans. When in the landfill, bottles leach chemicals which change the biological structures in wildlife. As a result, we find fish which are both sexes and some that cannot reproduce.

Another problem with bottled water is that much of it is unfiltered tap water. Click here to read The Big Secret Commercial Water Companies Hope You Never Discover. Then click here to read Yes magazine's The Story of Bottled Water.

Unfortunately, much of the water bottled in other countries and imported to the US is done at the expense of the local people who cannot get access to local water supplies. You may want to check out The Jones exposé on Fiji Water.

So as far as what we drink on a day-to-day basis, go with filtered water and store it in glass. I use a carbon filter with several little filters. My husband takes care of keeping our drinking water clean.

Anne

NOTE: Send your questions on life, health, food, spirituality, and relationships to Annie G.

  Quotes

“Surrender is to surrender your concept of separateness, your ego…. You must surrender like a river discharging into the Ocean. Surrender is to discharge your river of separateness into the ocean of Being, losing your limitations, and allowing to happen what happens.”
-- Sri HWL Poonja

"This is a huge universe. Planet earth is a speck of dust in an unlimited expanse, an ocean of space time. We are a part of a little galaxy in the outskirts of infinity."
– Deepak Chopra

"Beneath a street lamp's glow, the night's rain steadily bejewels the windows of my parked car. Tiny diamonds pitter-pat their dance upon the glass. Suddenly rich, I am glad I have nowhere particular to go."
– Anita "Jo" Lenhart

From her Still Breathing: Unpublished Essays and Untitled Poems

  Anne Art

Click the image for a larger view.

Click the image for a larger view.

If you're currently subscribed and no longer wish to receive this newsletter, click this link to UNsubscribe.

Editor: Charles David Heineke of TheDoorway and TheDoorwayBlog