Is There Something Missing?

The thought that something is missing from life is so universal that it seems almost passé to verbalize it out loud. Still, most of us have filled and refilled that something’s missing feeling with dozens of strategies designed to make life feel vivid and more satisfying.

How does reality relocate to the back burner of life and lead us to this existential despair? It’s the cover-up. When our lives are a cover-up for the false beliefs we hold about ourselves and the meaning of life, we never truly live. It’s the fast-paced over-consumption, over-scheduling, and never giving our minds a rest, that create a virtual life. When our lives seem empty, it’s easy to turn the focus to the outside world.

Looking Inside

Regardless of how we try to patch up the exterior of life, when the interior isn’t good, our lives suffer. We don’t like to suffer, so we move our attention to those closest to us. Unfortunately, when we export our pain to the outside world, our friends and loved ones pay, because we project our inadequacies onto them and try to control them and make them change. If they could only be a certain way, then our lives would be better. Then life’s meaning could stand erect instead being limp and slumping.

In the past I've gotten rid of people who I felt didn't best serve my aliveness, and even though there were relationships that needed to end, ultimately the shame and guilt of what I perceived as my life and myself, continued. Certainly there was temporary relief when a relationship ended, but I always found myself returning to familiar hell realms or creating a flurry of activity to cover up and hide my pain.

When I find myself inordinately bent out of shape about someone or somebody and their beliefs or behavior, I ask myself, "What is going on about me that I don't want to look at? Or, to put it another way, what in my life is so askew that I'm using my perception of them to hide what's going on with me? These questions wake me up and put the focus back on me, and "me" is the only place where my power lives.

Looking Outside

Focusing on what is wrong with others is a mental trick that keeps us from looking at ourselves. We mentally create our relationships. We turn people into heroes, friends, or enemies through our thought-by-thought interpretation of them. The better we feel about ourselves, the fewer enemies we create - not literal enemies, but the ones we fight in our minds. We use our ideologies to create a fort to keep out the enemy. As long as our sense of well-being is linked to another's behavior, feelings, or attitudes, we are doomed.

Until we uncover and dissolve our false beliefs about who we have created ourselves to be, we can never be free. Regrettably, the very modalities we use to heal our wounds can become traps. Positive thinking can help identify and end familiar mind traps, but positive thinking is the tricycle of consciousness. People may get excited because with stamina, perseverance, and determination, a tricycle can get them from Manhattan to the Bronx, but if you try to get from New York City to Stockholm on your tricycle, no amount of effort will make that work. Techniques have transitory value but they are stepping stones in the recovery of ourselves, not end points in of the journey.

Within each of us there's a light, and this light is bright, dark, deep, comforting, and expansive – all at once. When I touch this space, the need to fix or change others disappears. When I rest in this light, I no longer need to arrange the world and its pieces into perfect alignment. When I feel connected, I may give people information or even give advice, but I'm not attached to them listening or taking in my suggestions – I'm just sharing. There is a place of emotional emancipation, and it’s so close.

Three Techniques

Sometimes we have the direct experience of this light, but when we are in the dark, meditation, deliberate breath work, and self-inquiry can help us return to our original state of love, innocence, and peace. I’m including meditative forms of moving, such as yoga and martial arts, in the meditation category. Meditation, breath, and inquiry are ways of shutting down the stories, moving past emotional showdowns, dusting away the false beliefs, and opening the door to the light within. In our speed-driven, over-stimulated culture, it takes stillness practices to wean us from addictive thought drama.

We can’t free ourselves until we take a few moments each day to stand outside the prison. Stillness practices position us outside our traditional and habitual thought cycles, where we can experience life in new, fresh, and creative ways. And these ways, birthed in our interior, are the ways that bring satisfaction to our lives. When we live from the inner light, we always have enough light to take us where we need to go, and the nagging question of what’s missing disappears.

You might want to check out the following links relevant to this article:

• Meditation timer with music: http://www.thedoorway.org/blog/meditation-music-timer/
• Article on conscious breathing: http://theezsecret.com/2013/01/14/creating-more-wellness-through-the-practice-of-conscious-breathing/
• Purchase Anne’s CD on breathing, Breath of Life, which includes two guided breathing exercises: http://www.annegillis.com/Books-CDs-Etc.html#Breath
• Byron Katie’s process of inquiry: http://www.thework.com/thework.php
• John Sherman's Just One Look process which is a form of inquiry: http://www.justonelook.org/just-one-look-instructions.html

  Health Tip: BPA-Free Canned Foods

My nephew Vic made me aware of the BPA problem. I had a new plastic bottle made of polycarbonate plastic. I was so proud of it. It came from Whole Foods. I queried Vic as to any possible health issues concerning the bottle and Vic introduced me to BPA. My designer bottle, which came from the store most heath nuts love and trust, sold it to me, and my bottle was laced with BPA. I looked up BPA and was shocked at the damage a little chemical could do to the human body. It was an eye-opener.

A few years later I had a friend who suffered from BPA overload. His testosterone levels plummeted, he suffered severe memory loss, and he was no longer able to work. He filled his bottles at the grocery store but frequently left the filled water bottles in his car, which heated up in the summer. The heat released the BPA into the water, so when he drank it, he was affected. It took a period of time for the toxins to build up, but as time passed he suffered more and more until he was very ill. Such a simple, seemly benign act produced such tragic health results. His story scared the BPA out of me.

BPA shows up in plastic, canned foods, and even on store receipts. Yes, many shiny thermal receipts contain BPA, such as ATM receipts, cash register receipts, prescription labels, lottery and airline tickets, etc. Until recently all canned goods contained BPA, but due to consumer pressure and food companies wanting to provide healthier foods, some canned foods are now BPA-free. For a list of BPA-free canned foods, visit the following site:
http://inspirationgreen.com/bpa-lined-cans.html

  Health Tip Reader Response

The following is a reader response to the Health Tip on Grains which appeared in our March 12, 2013 issue.

Dear Anne,

I read your article on grains and was very intrigued. I have been working on my health to lower my blood sugar, as I have Type 2 diabetes. While I have been successful in lowering my blood sugar, it has been achieved via a combination of changes in my diet and medication. It has taken me a year to make the lifestyle changes to support my lower numbers and that has brought me to a new way of thinking about food and my health. So now that I have adjusted to not eating as many refined carbohydrates, processed foods, and junk food, I’m interested and open to new food experiences.

So your article on grains and the link to how grains are killing us slowly was very timely. While my own experimenting with diets had already led me to the conclusion that my body does better with a low carb, high protein "diet", I had not realized the truth of grains not being my friend. Your comments on grains has led me to a new awareness to help me continue to refine and fine tune my "diet".

I say "diet" because it's easier than saying eating plan. I am not dieting. The changes I'm making are truly a lifestyle change and are taking time. I hope never to have to diet again! I love the sanity I have gained from the changes I have made. I no longer have mental food battles with myself about what I can and can't eat. I have stopped demonizing food and no longer think good food/bad food, but instead think in terms of choices I make. I now choose not to eat certain foods because now I know how my body will react, and I don't like the reaction I have to some foods.

I found a grain-free pumpkin pancakes recipe that is great. A year ago I would never have entertained the idea of cooking without flour, much less enjoying the taste! I had them for breakfast and not only enjoyed them but loved the fact it did not put my body into a tailspin of wanting more, more, more, which is what typically happens when I eat white or whole wheat flour pancakes. Here is the link for the recipe, in case you want to check it out. I also like the fact it only takes 5 minutes to mix and make. http://wellnessmama.com/6660/grain-free-pumpkin-pancakes/

Thanks again for the tip!

Helen

  Quotes

"Accepting what's so, delivers you to so what."
– Anne Sermons Gillis

"Don't wrap your life around someone else's flaws."
– Anne Sermons Gillis

  NEW: Video Bits of Wisdom

A while back I recorded a series of 21 short inspirational videos on a wide range of topics. Most of them are under 2 minutes. I'll be spotlighting a different Video Bit each week in this space, with a link to it below this message. When you go to that page, click the Play button to start the video.

This Week: "Easy Mantra"
Click Here for This Week's Video Bit

Click the graphic above to see all of the Video Bits.

  What is EZosophy?

What is EZosophy? Click the graphic above to find out.

NOTE: If you are viewing this on a cell phone, be sure to scroll to the right to see the other column.

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  Anne's Schedule

April 27, 2013
"Buddha at the Gaspump"
Interview by Rick Archer
http://batgap.com/

We will post a link when it's online.

May 26, 2013
"Celebrating Life"
11:00 AM
Unity of Webster, Texas

  Ask Annie G

Dear Annie G,

If you acquire a large sum of money, unexpectedly, what is the first thing you do with it?

Thank you,

SOB, Tennessee

Dear SOB,

The first thing I would do if I received a large sum of money would be to put it in the bank. That's the answer to your question, but I'm assuming you might want a little more detail.

I would then pay off any outstanding bills I might have. Fortunately, I have no debt, but most people have debt, and the debt needs to be paid off.

Next, I would consult an accountant and find out the tax ramifications of my windfall.

I would not immediately change my lifestyle. I might change my life over a period of time, but I would grow my life into the changes rather than make any quick decisions or lifestyle changes. As you may know, most people who win the lottery spend it on lavish items or poorly planned schemes and eventually return to their former financial status.

I have a friend who talks about winning the lottery and how if she wins, she’s going to give money to this person, the next person, this charity, etc. While giving is wonderful and it’s a part of life, I suspect my friend has a difficult time receiving, and so the only way she can see getting a large sum of money would involve giving it away.

The smartest thing anyone can do who receives a financial windfall is to consult a therapist who knows how to deal with money issues and prosperity consciousness. The therapist can help one clear patterns of unconscious financial sabotage.

And, by the way, SOB, here’s hoping you get that windfall.

Make it Easy.

Anne

NOTE: Send your questions on life, health, food, spirituality, and relationships to Annie G.

  Anne Art

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Editor: Charles David Heineke of TheDoorway and TheDoorwayBlog