A Note From Anne

Dear ,

  I Hear You

Last night I listened to a friend tell me about events in her recent life. The content was a little obscure because she was talking in generalizations, but it was clear that she has been through something that pushed her limits and made her feel like some of her efforts were for nothing. I could feel her uneasiness and related to those emotions.

I stood with her, being fully present. I smiled and made sure I listened fully. After a few minutes, she stopped and commented, "You are so sweet. You are just smiling and being with me. I love you so much."

For over 10 years I worked with a group of pre-engineering students on people skills. One day I put the students in dyads ("Two individuals or units regarded as a pair."). Each was to say something and the other was to listen and repeat back what they heard. There was one large football player type in the group. When I asked for feedback after the exercise, he commented with misty eyes, "That's the first time in my life anyone has truly listened to me. I felt safe and happy." I was blown away by his heartfelt response as I felt the room turn from a classroom into a sanctuary.

Too often we live busy, hectic lives. We are rushed, self-absorbed, and move past others in a way that we don’t see them. The following poem came from a well-worn notebook from the 80's:

No Traces

I think your eyes have moved under your heart and that your mind has lost its fingers because you don't touch anymore.

Whenever we talk, you wear gloves on every word and when you are gone I examine the scene of our meeting but find no fingerprints.

-- Charles W. Pratt

What behaviors keep us from being good listeners?

• Thinking of what we want to say next and impatiently waiting for them to get through speaking.
• Interrupting the person speaking. Extroverts tend to interrupt each other without too much trouble. It's natural for them, but introverts often feel offended when interrupted.
• Finishing each other's words – unless it's your spouse or best friend. They do it to us!
• Drumming your fingers, clicking a ball point pen open and closed, or frantically wagging your foot back and forth.
• Trying to top the other person's story.
• Analyzing their story or situation.
• Criticizing them for saying something a certain way.
• Looking everywhere except where the person who is speaking is.
• Correcting their words or grammar.

Being a good listener happens when you give the other person the stage. You listen, make very brief comments so they know you are with them and understand what they are saying, make good eye contact, and, when appropriate, touch them lightly on the arm. If you truly listen to others, it actually makes you feel good.

Some exceptions to being a good listener come when we are with people who:

• Are talkaholics. They drain you with endless chatter.
• Are showing off or bragging.
• Who are trying to teach you something and you didn't ask for help.
• Are inauthentic.
• Give endless unsolicited advice.
• Are gossiping, especially when they gossip about someone we like.

How can one deal graciously when in one of the above situations?

Send them love while they are talking with you. Have patience and compassion, remembering that you too have fallen into bad talking habits before as well. There are so many ways to react when we are with those who engender poor communication or when people are mean-spirited. The more in touch we are with our inner guidance, the easier it is to come from our well-spring of inner wisdom. Once I was with someone who spoke harshly to me. I looked at her and said, "Ouch. That hurt." That was not a contrived response. I was surprised to hear the words come out of my mouth. She realized how she sounded and immediately apologized.

Another time I told a good friend, who continuously talked about others, that I felt our conversation was second-hand. I wanted to hear about her, not a commentary on her friends. She said she was just used to talking that way. My comment sparked an interesting and real conversation about communication. We both left feeling empowered.

Our Gift to Others

Listening is our gift to others. We can't always give that gift, especially when were are talking with someone whose behavior is like those mentioned above, but if we take the time to be fully present with our friends and loved ones, and listen fully, we become angels in disguise. We become the purveyors of love and compassion. Try listening fully and you will find that life becomes ezier and ezier. And remember, I love you.

Anne

  Health Tip: Laundry Detergent

Typical laundry detergent in bad for the environment, especially fish, and it never fully comes out of our clothes, so we absorb the remnants. Do you often have unexplainable itchy skin? Maybe those remnants are affecting you. Some detergents contain cancer causing chemicals and fumes that are harmful to humans.

If you are interested in the gruesome details of laundry detergent, check out these articles:

Laundry Soap Detergents' Harmful Side Effects for Humans

How Toxic is Your Average Laundry Detergent?

I’ve been making my detergent for quite awhile and my clothes are fresh and clean. I use a little liquid Dawn for oil spots on my clothes, but for other than special cases, the natural stuff works fine. I use ½ cup of washing soda (I buy it at the grocery store: Arm and Hammer), and ½ cup of borax. If I have a white load, I add some dried oxygen cleaner.

Using natural cleaners is beneficial to our health and to the environment. Just try it: it if don’t like it, you can always go back.

  Anne's Books

Standing in The Dark

EZosophy Book

Offbeat Prayers

Click here to see all three of Anne's books

What people are saying about Standing in the Dark:

"Standing in the Dark, by Anne Sermons Gillis, isn't just another positive thinking book. It's a book about the difficult times in life and what we can do to make it through them. It does, however, give us positive ways to make life easier. It's a short book, but it's one that may just turn your thinking on its head, which will probably be the best thing that's happened to your thinking in a long time. It's about how to bring more ease into a life that isn't easy all of the time. Anne discusses six main areas of life: Ease, Mission, Health, Relationships, Money, and Loss."
  – Charles David Heineke, Bonham, TX

What people are saying about EZosophy: The Art and Wisdom of Easy or at Least Easier Living:

"Although most conscious people understand that life doesn't have to a struggle, the "how to" has been missing... until now. Anne's book makes it "easy."
  – T. Harv Eker - Bestselling author and Founder of Peak Potentials Training

What people are saying about Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic:

"I love your book. It is filled with much wisdom, humor and heart. Really beautiful."
  – Alan Cohen author, Enough Already, mentions Anne and EZosophy on page 99

  Quotes

"We all stand in the dark during different periods in our lives. The next time you stand in the dark, I want you to know I am standing in the dark beside you. I am the breeze you can’t see, the moon, the great idea, the unsung song, and more. If you could see, you would know that it’s pretty crowded here in the dark. You are not alone. I am with you, “Standing in the Dark.” Excerpt from Standing in the Dark
  – Anne Sermons Gillis

"Many of us fidget while waiting in lines or become hostile and angry righteous in traffic jams. Before an event or meeting starts, we wait. We wait in the doctor's office. When you think about it, all of us have frequent experiences with waiting. For many, waiting means wasting time. For many, this time is lost. Do you really want to take a large segment of the time in your life and waste it? How about having a Wonderful Adventure In Time (WAIT) instead?"
  – Anne Sermons Gillis

  EZosophy CD/DVD Spotlight

Each week in this space we'll be featuring one of Anne's CD's or DVD's. Click the link below to learn more.

Self Affirming CD: Sacred Sales Affirmations (Network Marketing Edition)

S-A-L-E-S: Sacred Attitudes Lifting Each Spirit: Are you in sales? This CD helps get you into the flow of sales, particularly geared toward network marketing. Anne Sermons Gillis speaks briefly on the idea of sacred sales. The talk is followed with sacred sales affirmations, including additional affirmation for network marketers. These affirmations help you to find meaning in what you do and to move into the flow of your destined good. Sacred Sales Affirmations CD (Network Marketing Edition) CD: $11.99 Sacred Sales Affirmations CD (Network Marketing Edition) Downloadable MP3 file - $7.99 http://www.annegillis.com/Books-CDs-Etc.html#Marketing

  What is EZosophy?

What is EZosophy? Click the graphic above to find out.

NOTE: If you are viewing this on a cell phone, be sure to scroll to the right to see the other column.

  Anne's Services

  Schedule Anne

You may reach Anne by phone at 281-419-1775 or click the button below to contact Anne by email. Anne is also available to officiate at weddings and funerals.

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  Anne's Schedule

October 13, 2013
Sun., 11:00 AM
"Discovery"
Unity Church of Practical Christianity
15920 Piper’s View Dr.
Meadow Community Association
Webster, TX 77598-2550

  Anne Talks

Thinking is Optional

This entertaining 20 minute video makes you think about not thinking.

Forever Grateful,
Linda Clesson, Tomball, Texas

Dear Linda,

Yes, you can increase dopamine levels naturally. Paying attention to dopamine levels pays off. Lowered dopamine levels often lead to addiction and increased levels support well-being.

Incorporate foods into your diet that support its synthesis and production. Eat foods high in tyrosine. Tyrosine is an amino acid used to synthesize dopamine. These foods include almonds, avocados, lima beans, sesame seeds, and pumpkin seeds. Also eating foods high in antioxidants is helpful. These include fruits and vegetables that have bright or dark colors, such as kale, blueberries, and bell peppers. Put raw nuts and sunflower on your "to eat" list as well.

Do not eat processed foods. They make you feel groggy and inhibit dopamine production.

Finally, it's important to get enough sleep. Everyone has difficulty with sleeping at one time or the other. If you cannot sleep, learn to meditate, and meditate when you cannot sleep. Better still, meditate even if you get plenty of rest. Meditation increases dopamine production as much as 65%.

Thanks for asking,

Annie G

NOTE: Send your questions on life, health, food, spirituality, and relationships to Annie G.

  Anne Art

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Editor/Publisher: Charles David Heineke of TheDoorwayBlog.

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