A Note From Anne

Dear ,

This week finds me having more things on my plate than I should. My friends and family tell me to slow down or they just shake their heads. If you are like me, and have more to do than you have time for,  I think I understand. When I committed to some things, I didn't know the actual time commitment it would take to do what was necessary for the job. Everywhere I find people in the same situation. A 10 minute task takes 45 minutes and a volunteer position ends up taking many hours per week. Yikes!

How do I deal with this? I take things off my plate that are not absolutely necessary and I make sure I get to do some fun things – even if it's only for ten minutes. Sometimes our "to do" list drives us to work without pause and we don't take little breaks or time for pleasure. That's why you see two pieces of art in each week's issue of The EZ Secret Newsletter. I enjoy drawing. Some pictures are more complex, and take several days to complete (10 to 20 minutes a day) and others are simple and only take 20 minutes. It's a setup. I made a commitment to doing something I love to do – it's relaxing and I love to piddle draw.

This morning I skipped church. (I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon). Even though I love to go to my spiritual center, there was something liberating about not having to dress and leave the house. I found the Om Shanti radio station in iTunes Radio and downloaded a beautiful mediation song. The song is also on YouTube. I slid into the music, relaxed my mind, and breathed in and out to a measured count.

When life is fast, it is essential to add slow things to our mental and emotional diet. That's how I do it. That's how I stay sane amidst life's drama. I drink in the divine whenever I can and it makes life so much easier.

The day you receive this I will be working at the polls. It's primary election day in Texas. It will be a 6 AM to 10 PM job. It seems that's the cost of democracy; someone has to be in charge. At the end of the day, I'll be very tired, but I always enjoy the day and walk away with good memories. If you live in Texas, please vote today.

Anne

  EZier Relationships

I have friend who is in a new relationship. She asked me to write a newsletter for relationships. I am not an expert in relationships, but over the years I have found many reasons to open up to people and many reasons to shut down. I'm offering a bit of relationship advice to honor her request.

Two Paths

There are two ways to deal with relationships: one is to run and the other is to stay. If you run, you will always find another relationship, so don't fret, but as we age, the running track gets shorter. Being without a partner is easier than having one, unless you spend your time suffering because you have no mate or you immerse your emotions in longing and yearning for a mate.

Relationships put our feet to the fire. We want something from our mates. What we want is usually the thing they are least equipped to give. People stay in relationships they don't like for many reasons; that's not a bad thing. People carve out separate lives while living together. Still this is okay. There are no guides on the right way for you to do relationship. As long as you don't stay in one relationship and long for another better relationship, you're doing well. If you stay in your relationship you will encounter intermittent times of joy and hell. If you spend your energy trying to change the other person or trying to get his or her attention, time, or affection, you will live in a permanent state of hell. If you live to please that person, you lose yourself.

If you stay in a relationship, all your flaws and fears will eventually come out. If you are concerned about how you look, you will possibly attract a slob. If you are afraid you will be abandoned, and this is usually at a subconscious level, you will attract a partner who is constantly backing away. We relish, in those first few weeks, or possibly even months, where our love or addiction, whichever the case, may be, when bliss abides and abounds, but that short lived intoxication slowly erodes.

Two Principles

There are two things we can do to ensure better relationships. The first is to not openly or inwardly criticize our mate – whether we are with them, talking others, or just talking to ourselves. Constant negative talk, whether it is self talk or actually complaining to others, is devastating to all relationships. I'm not taking about a one time share with a friend about something that has to do with our mates; it's the constant complaining and bitching about him or her, to anyone who is around, that's destructive.

The second thing is The Golden Rule of Conscious Relationships: like your mate. If you don't like them in the present moment, you will be miserable because you carry the anger or irritation inside. If you genuinely don't like your mate, no amount or style of counseling will work. We cannot work things out with someone we hate. When you dislike a person, they can sense it at some level and they will react from that energy.

Here are a few tips on how to like your mate.

• Think of the traits that made you fall in love with them. (If applying to a friend – of what made you like them when you met.)
• Think of good times you've spent together.
• Think of their good qualities.
• Think of something nice they did for you.
• Think about their loyalty to you.
• Think of what they add to your life and be grateful. Do they give you financial support that allows you more freedom? Do they do tasks that you can't do? Do they go places with you so you won't have to go alone?

Think these thoughts in lieu of a constant dialogue of what the they don't do for you, how poorly they've treated you, or how much you wish he or she would just drop dead. (It would be much simpler if they died. I'm laughing at this, but I know it's not that unusual for people who can't face divorce. It is a radical thought and certainly lacks creativity.)

If you want to get out of the relationship because it is truly dangerous, then don't think about the good things; think of the bad times. It's hard to get out of an addictive or caustic relationship when you keep dragging up the two good things they did.

No criticism and like the person. These are the most important tools in any relationship. If you use them in your relationships, you're sure to find things getting easier and easier. I've spoken about relationships we have with other people. The most important relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves, but that's for another day.

Advice for Singles

I once spoke to a crowded room of singles. The age old question popped up. "How do I get a mate? I want my soul mate." My answer may have been flimsy, but it was true: "The best way to find a relationship is not to be looking for one. The universe can smell desperation and if you long, scheme, and fret, life is going to be hard and anyone you attract will soon feel smothered and run away." The idea of a soul mate is a dicey one. Every mate is a soul mate. If there is any intimacy, it's soul to soul. That's what we are -- souls, but most people think a soul mate is someone who will complete them or make their lives perfect. The name for this is not soul mate; it is codependency.

Make it easy.

Anne

  Quotes

"It all boils down to now, this moment. The experience you are having right now is it. The present moment is life—it's what is real. And the moment is just what it is. You can pile all the thoughts, feelings, and imaginations you want into this moment, but this moment is still just this. And no matter how much or how little money you have, how youthful or old you are, how talented or untalented you are, how successful or unsuccessful you are, you still have just this moment. No billionaire has any more or less of this moment. People try to dress this moment up in ideas, but it still comes down to just this simple moment. You can love it or hate it, but you still just have this moment."
  – Gina Lake

"The egoic mind is a special interest group and the special interest is me. The story of me, who I am, what I want, how to get it, and who and what interferes with my agenda."
  – Anne Sermons Gillis

"The most common and limiting beliefs focus on time and money."
  – Deepak Chopra

  Houston Theosophical Society

Anne Sermons Gillis currently serves as the president of the Houston Lodge of the Theosophical Society.

We encourage our members to live a life in service to humanity, in stillness through mediation, and in study of ancient wisdom.

"Recognition of the unique value of every living being expresses itself in reverence for life, compassion for all, sympathy with the need of all individuals to find truth for themselves, and respect for all religious traditions."
   --The Theosophical World View

Meetings are held on the first and third Saturdays at 10 AM Central Time in Houston, Texas.

For more information visit The Houston Lodge or visit our national organization at http://www.Theosophical.org.

  Anne's Books

Standing in The Dark

EZosophy

Offbeat Prayers

Click here to see all three of Anne's books

What people are saying about Standing in the Dark:

"Standing in the Dark, by Anne Sermons Gillis, isn't just another positive thinking book. It's a book about the difficult times in life and what we can do to make it through them. It does, however, give us positive ways to make life easier. It's a short book, but it's one that may just turn your thinking on its head, which will probably be the best thing that's happened to your thinking in a long time. It's about how to bring more ease into a life that isn't easy all of the time. Anne discusses six main areas of life: Ease, Mission, Health, Relationships, Money, and Loss."
  – Charles David Heineke

Now available on Kindle. Click for details.

What people are saying about EZosophy: The Art and Wisdom of Easy or at Least Easier Living:

"Although most conscious people understand that life doesn't have to a struggle, the "how to" has been missing... until now. Anne's book makes it "easy."
  – T. Harv Eker - Bestselling author and Founder of Peak Potentials Training

Now available on Kindle.
Click for details.
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What people are saying about Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic:

"I love your book. It is filled with much wisdom, humor and heart. Really beautiful."
  – Alan Cohen author, Enough Already, mentions Anne and EZosophy on page 99

Now available on Kindle.
Click for details.

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  Anne's Services

  Schedule Anne

You may reach Anne by phone at 281-419-1775 or click the button below to contact Anne by email. Anne is also available to officiate at weddings and funerals.

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  Anne's Schedule

All times below are Central Time.
March 5, 2014
Wed., 10:00 – 11:50 AM
"EZosophy"
Lone Star College ALL Program
Montgomery Campus
3200 College Park Drive
Conroe, TX 77384-4500
936-273-7000

March 7 and 21, 2014
Fri., 10:00 – 11:50 AM
"Alive, Awake, Aware"
Lone Star College ALL Program
Montgomery Campus
3200 College Park Drive
Conroe, TX 77384-4500
936-273-7000

  Healthy Living

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  What is EZosophy?

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Editor/Publisher: Charles David Heineke of TheDoorway.org.