Anne's Note reminds us about our part in relationships. The main article is Love Without Conditions. Anne has a Valentine's Day Gift for you. Healthy Living gives a recipe for Blessing our Food. The Anne Talk is Love is Not What You Think. The Featured Product this month is Anne's book, Standing in the Dark.

The EZ Mantra:  "Everything can be EZ or at least EZier."  – Anne Sermons Gillis

  A Note From Anne

Dear ,

Valentine’s Day is Saturday. It will be my 12th wedding anniversary. I met Jim in 1998 and we fast became an item. In these 16 years we have had many ups and downs, but manage to stay above the water’s surface. We haven’t drowned yet, but we still go through stormy weather.

I thought marriage would be more about us, but honesty, it’s still about me. Do I forgive easily? Do I handle my judgments with grace? Do I hold resentment? Am I gentle in the face of anger or am I reactive? Can I let it go? Do I allow love to be present regardless of the circumstances or do I hide under my feelings and strike out or back? Do I keep a good sense of humor? Are my moods tied to my husband’s moods? Can I live with a sense of responsibility for my life rather than blaming my husband for what’s going wrong in my life? Can I remember the good and throw away the bad?

Marriage and relationships are teaching instruments that allow us to come out of hiding. In the light of day we can see the thorns piercing our hearts and pluck them out. When we are in the dark, it’s tough to see what’s blocking our ability to live the love of our being. If love’s to be, it’s up to me. Left up to you, I will be screwed! Happy Valentine’s Day.

Anne

  Love Without Conditions

The word “love” does not need to be preceded by the adjective “unconditional.” Conditional love is not love. The thoughts behind the words “conditional love” are: “If you do things my way, I will like you. If I approve of what you are thinking, saying, and doing, I will not be angry with you and you will escape the guilt and shame of existence, and if you feel guilty, it will not be on my account, because I am completely supportive of you if you support me in every way imaginable.” I think I’ll go for just plain love, but conditional love seems to be the “catch of the day.” And just to make it very clear, conditional love is not love.

Romantic love is a high energy euphoria that dissipates after a couple falls back into their customary states of separation. Romantic love is a fun wild ride until the roller-coaster ride grinds to a creepy crawl or stops all together. This might be a good thing. Can you imagine a symphony not moving on? The orchestra replays the opening over and over. That’s how it would be if people just stayed at the opening act of a relationship. The relationship just wouldn’t move on.

What happens when a healthy relationship moves on from one aspect of love to another? It grows; it transforms. It moves to the second act. What kind of vision and attitude support growth in a relationship?

The following is a visionary statement that gives that “relationship kind of love,” AKA eros, the room it needs to transform into agape. Agape is just plain old love – no demands, no conditions, just love always.

Affirmative Relationship Thoughts

I can’t see who you used to be, because I am focused on who you are now. I won’t hold you hostage to the past nor pigeonhole you as never changing. I will see you as fresh and adorable. I see you as a loving, lovable, and supportive person. I commit to looking deeply and finding the best in you. I will hardly notice when you do me wrong. I only blow your good attributes out of proportion. I look only for signs of deep love and compassion growing in you. I will not assassinate our relationship through jealousy, gossip, or harshness. I daily plant seeds of gentleness and loving kindness in my heart and share the fruit with you. I take responsibility for love in my life and I spread that love in all my relationships. So be it.

Love is still an inside job, and it is always present. Our work is to keep our emotions and thoughts out of the way so can see the Loving Presence of life. And when we do, life becomes EZier and EZier.

Anne

"Love is All you Need." Click the graphic below to listen to and sing along with The Beatles, words included. Michio Kushi said we will have healthier bodies if we sing a happy song every day. Kuchio, who helped introduce macrobiotics in the United States in the 1950's, recently passed away.

  My Valentine's Day Gift for You

Here’s my free gift to you, the “I Love You” affirmation MP3 download, which is available for download only through February 16, 2015.

I have always wanted a CD that had just one affirmation. What affirmation? “I love you.” Finally it is here. This audio contains 50 minutes of nonstop “I love you” affirmations. It makes you feel good all over. It’s great for relaxation or to bolster self-esteem.

The words “I love you” are three powerful words. Whether we hear those words from others or say them to others, the words are a treat to hear and a treat to say. “I love you” are three words that people need to hear. From the cradle to the grave, those words follow us through our lives. We can never hear those words too often. They sooth, comfort, and encourage. They offer a supreme affirmation of being. The “I love you” audio gives you a chance to luxuriate in these influential words. Listen anywhere – in the car, while you are still lingering in bed, upon arising, – or when snuggling yourself in these words as you drift off to sleep. Have fun and enjoy these uplifting words of well-being. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Click the CD image at the left to download your free MP3 Valentine's Day Gift, the "I Love You" affirmation, from Anne.

Click the valentine to watch the "I Choose Love" video.

  Anne Art

Click image for a larger view.

Click image for a larger view.

  Featured Product This Month

  What is EZosophy?

Click the graphic above to learn more.

NOTE: If you are viewing this on a cell phone, be sure to scroll to the right to see the other column.

  Healthy Living

Blessing our Food

Most people understand the relationship of food to our health. In addition to eating healthy foods, our attitude toward the food when we eat and the very act of blessing our food makes it easier to digest, puts us in a better mood, and acknowledges the food itself for giving us sustenance.

My friend, Linda McQuinn, wrote me the other day. She talked about the power of gratitude and the contemplative practice of following the food, from the table back to the farm, with a heartfelt blessing. She gave me her permission to share her thoughts.

In Linda’s words:

When sitting down to a meal, my prayer thought goes something like this: Bless the lives of all the hands that made this meal possible; may they feel my love and gratitude. May this food provide what my body needs.

Following this I often choose something I am eating and think of all of the hands that have helped it come to my plate. I do this by thinking backward in time, trying to account for all who have touched it. Here is an example:

I am eating an apple for lunch. The last person to handle it was me, before me the sacker at the store, the checker, the stocker, the person who unloaded it from the delivery truck and put it in the store, the person who loaded it on the truck at the distribution center, the person who accepted it at the distribution center, the person who delivered it to the distribution center, the person who loaded it go to the distribution center, the person who crated the apple, the person who picked the apple, the person(s) who tended the apple orchard, the person who planted the orchard. One can go even further back if one chooses - I have gone back as far as the creation of the earth.

This is just an apple, and just one ingredient! What if I were eating fruit salad mixed with greens topped with dressing and croutons? What about multi-ingredient items like dressing? And this is just people who have had actual contact with the item.

What about the people who support the business, like salesmen, accountants, process clerks, truck drivers, etc.? The number of people who have been instrumental in my eating one meal is a very large number and it makes me aware of how we are all interconnected.”

The following prayer appears in my book, Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic. I think it fits perfectly with Linda’s insights into the heart of acknowledgement, gratitude, and blessing.

Grace

Are we thankful for this food? Are we thankful for the sun, rain, and earth that brought life to tiny seeds? Are we grateful for the life forces that have become our servants so that we might live? Are we thankful for those who cooked this food and for all hands that grew, harvested, and transported this food? Are we thankful for the trains and trucks that carried this food? And the grocery stores that bring the harvest to us? Are we thankful to the elementals and devas that guard and watch over all the plants? Are we thankful for the friends and the fellowship of all those gathered here today? We offer our thanks and bless this food and all who eat it. AMEN. (Definitions - Elementals: nature spirits; Devas - "shining ones.")

Anne

  Anne Talks

This week's Anne Talk is Love is Not What You Think. It was presented live at a Unity church in 2012.

  Quotes

"I can be changed by what happens to me; I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

Love Quotes

"Love comforteth like sunshine after rain."
— Shakespeare, from Venus and Adonis

"A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out."
— Author Unknown

"If I had a prayer, it would be this: 'God spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.'"
— Byron Katie

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