The Anne Report, Celebrating the Fourth, recaps Anne's and Jim's July 4th activities. The Main article, Relationships, provides some tips for maintaining harmonious relationships. The Healthy Living article, ­Taming Stress, provides practical ways to reduce the stress in our life. The Anne Talk, Kindness is our best commodity, reminds us that kindness is our best gift. The Featured Product This Month highlights Words Make a Difference. Click to read What is EZosophy? Click for Abundance Affirmations. Click for Shareables From Anne.

The EZ Mantra: "Everything can be EZ or at least EZier." -- Anne Sermons Gillis

Living EZosophy, July 10, 2018
Published Weekly on Tuesday Mornings

Phone: 281-419-1775
Email: anne@annegillis.com

Anne's Websites:

  The Anne Report

Celebrating the Fourth

Dear ,

Jim and I rode with our grandchildren, Elizabeth, my daughter, and Toby, our son-in law, in the Fourth of July Parade. We rode in a decorated golf cart, along with other golf carts, bicycles, one unicycle, and a firetruck. The parade lasted about 20 minutes. It's an annual event in the Hobcaw Bluff neighborhood. We ended our day at a friend's barbecue and pool party. The 4th of July disappeared with a bang; actually, several bangs.

We spent some time Saturday with my sister Sue; it was her birthday, and she was visiting from Hickory, NC. Cynthia, the twins' former nanny, AKA the baby whisperer, spent a couple of days at the main house. I lunched with a new friend one day and must say, it was a Barbara Streisand kind of week. Here are the lyrics to that popular song.

People, people who need people,
Are the luckiest people in the world.
We're children, needing other children,
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children than children.

We are not always in the place and space to be with friends and family, but we are naturally tribal people, and when we keep ourselves connected to others, our lives flourish. Though it takes effort, it's important to reach out, because when we do, our lives can be EZier and EZier. And that's it for the Anne Report.

Anne

  Main Article

Relationships

I used to see life itself as a problem. I had a mentor who had a similar belief. She was wise and gave me plenty of advice that helped me through my early years. Unfortunately, I worked diligently on problems that didn't exist. There were real to me, but many of my problems were based on my pessimistic subconscious beliefs about life and who I was. She was right there with me. As I grew older, I began to see life through different lenses. My relationship to this wonderful woman changed, and even though we remained close until she passed away, our relationship lost much of its intimacy. Our greatest bonding occurred when we were fixing me or when she listened patiently to my dilemmas. I didn't want desperation and suffering to be the glue that held us together. I'm not sure whether it was I or she who couldn't make the change; maybe I needed to grow without living in her shadow, but it seemed that we couldn't make it work when we showed up as two powerful and equal women. I have tears as I write this, because this woman was my sister, and I would not be who I am if she had not been the wind beneath my wings.

What makes relationships vital? What makes them work? Have I learned anything about relationships? Maybe I have. You be the judge. Here's my take on relationships and how to move from surviving to thriving.

• Rigorous Emotional Honesty. Over the years I've found that rigorous emotional honesty builds the best relationships. This doesn't mean talking about a problem so it can be solved. It means providing information on my current emotional affairs. When I am open, not wearing a mask, or trying to look together, I feel closer to people. It's exhausting to hide my moods, emotions, and to try to be "somebody." I don't mean I need to fix my emotions or process them; I mean I need to state what's going on with me, especially when my state is interfering with me being fully present. My declaration might go something like this, "I just had an argument with my husband and I'm still coming down from the upset. You might be able to sense that. I'm okay. I just need a little time for the charge to dissipate." Of course, this requires discretion. I wouldn't do this when I was going on a job interview, but I would do it when I was having lunch with a friend.
• Give my friend equal listening time. If I have a special urgent need to talk about, I ask if they mind if I take extra time. Being the listener during an entire conversation is not rewarding, and being the one who constantly talks and doesn't give the other person space to be and speak, why, that's narcissistic.
• Don't try to rescue people or fix their problems. Before offering advice, I ask, "Do you need me to just listen or do you need solutions?" 90% of the time, people don't want or need solutions. They need the space to speak, so they can dissipate the emotional charge surrounding their circumstances. Most things in the world are not problems; it's the way we hold them that creates the problem. The emotional brain doesn't come to grips or resolve problems using an intellectual approach. The emotional brain, or body brain, solves problems by emoting. Talking about things puts out emotional fires. That's why talk therapy can be so helpful. Once people lose the fire or charge around their problem, they are free to come up with creative solutions to fix the situation, if, in fact, anything needs to change. While it is tempting to try to fix others' problems and, yes, it makes us feel so good, fixing others, as a rule, and there are exceptions, often sets up an unhealthy dynamic. The fixer is one up, or acts like a wiser or more capable person. The other person being advised or fixed begins to either resent the fixer or to build an emotional portfolio of helplessness. This guideline is for friend to friend relationships. We expect a different kind of relationship with our therapist or counselor.
• Forgiveness. Forgiveness is an emotional resiliency tool. It helps us release our upset with our friends or others, so our relationships can return to one of support and well-being. When we have friends, something always pops up that makes us feel betrayed, and, at some point, others will feel betrayed by us. Often betrayals are the reliving of previous hurtful experiences in our lives, and the hurt triggers the pain of yesteryear. If I threw away or cut off my relationships with everyone I thought betrayed me in some way, whether it be emotional betrayal or not keeping their word, I would have no friends left! Certainly, we must end toxic relationships, but forgiveness is the easiest way to return a relationship back to its original form. There are always exceptions. We don't want others to consistently break their word or harm us in any way, but when we are upset with long-time friends, we need to figure out a way to restore the friendship. Forgiveness is very simple. Forgiveness says, "I am not going to be mad at you any more; we can go back to being friends again."

Relationships are ultimately what we care about. When we are on our death bed, we won't ask that someone bring our trophies or bank statements to the hospital; we'll be hoping those we love can be near. Relationships are scary and painful, but they are joyful and supportive as well. I spoke with my friend, Brett, when she was on her deathbed, and she said, "Anne, take care of your relationships. It's the only thing that matters." And I think she was right.

Anne

  Quotes

Anne Quotes

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  Featured Product

"Books are waiting to be written. Thus, it was my privilege to bring this book to the world. It brought with it such grace and love. Words Make a Difference sparkles with aliveness and blessing and delivers the perfect information under perfect timing. We are called not only to heal ourselves and those around us, we are destined to hold a vision for the world. This book commands us to be architects of a brave new future and lights a path for us to follow." Anne Sermons Gillis

Order Words Make a Difference from the website or call me at 713-922-0242 to order directly from me. The price is $16.95 plus $3.99 shipping, for a total of $20.94.

Click for the Kindle version on Amazon for $5.99.

Click to hear Anne talk about Words Make a Difference.

"Some people use affirmations to reprogram the mind. Certainly we have reams of questionable material in our subconscious mind, but I prefer to think of the affirmations in the book as commands for more compassionate living, openings to greater possibilities, and templates for a brave new world." Anne Sermons Gillis

  Shareables From Anne

The World's Best Weight Loss Secret

Thought Freedom

40 Days to Abundance

  Anne's Books

Click to learn about Anne's books.

  What is EZosophy?

Click to learn about EZosophy.

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  Healthy Living

­Taming Stress

Stress is a habit shared by most Americans. It seems crazy, but we gravitate toward familiar stress levels. If we grew up in a household where there was a lot of drama, such as physical violence, or high-level stress activities, such as yelling or the constant assigning of blame, we tend to replicate those stress levels unless we create new neural pathways of peace and calm. Stress, for most people, is no longer just a habit; it's a way of life.

Meditation and mindfulness are trendy. Why? Because they create the new circuits of tranquility we so desperately want and seek but are unable to pull off by using our minds alone.

Are there things we can do when we can't or won't practice the arts most aligned with relaxation, such as mindfulness and meditation? Yes. While the inner life provides what we need, the outer world can provide a respite as well. Here are a few suggestions:

• Plant a young plant and care for it. Find out what it needs and provide it. Work with a grow light if you have no sunlight or plant it on the patio in a pot. Spend some time with your plant every day and watch it grow. Water, feed, and provide light, and love it. It's a personal connection to nature. I even talk to my plants.
• Soak your feet in water with oil essences, such as peppermint oil or lavender, for at least 15 minutes. Remove feet and dry very well, and rub, rub, rub with a towel. This helps remove dead skin. It's a real treat and the feet love it. If you do this right before bedtime, try lavender oil with warm water. It signals your body it's time to sleep. What a relaxing practice. If you do this in the morning, add peppermint or lemon oil to your water; it invigorates the body.
• Listen to the sounds around you. Do you hear a fan, a lawnmower? Identify each sound. Do this for three minutes. This practice detracts you from a frantic mind and restores focus.
• Drink a warm cup of chamomile tea or other favorite caffeine-free tea. It's not just drinking the tea that relaxes; it's making the tea too. Use a favorite tea cup or mug. Boil water on range; don't use the microwave. Have a personal tea ceremony. Make it fun.
• Create a smelling box. Find a lovely small box and fill it with five, ten, or more essential oil fragrances in bottles. When you feel stressed, get out your smelling box and smell the contents of each bottle. This provides a pleasurable and relaxing experience.
• Massage your feet. Get creative and use organic coconut oil, with a favorite oil essence.
• Listen to your favorite music for five minutes. Best to listen to folk, jazz, or classical - music that calms. Forget the jumping up and down music when you want to relax.

We can't continue the same daily activities and emotional habits and expect our stress levels to diminish. When we establish new patterns and participate in calming activities, especially those that are easy to implement, we reprogram our brains away from addictive, emotional drama. It's essential to make serenity a habit and make room for calmness practices, because when we do, life becomes EZier and EZier.

If you have any healthy living tips for the newsletter, send them to me at anne@annegillis.com.

  Anne Talk

Kindness is our best commodity

In Kindness is our best commodity, Anne reminds us that kindness is our best gift. Time: 3:26

  Anne Art

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  Abundance Affirmations

Join Anne's Facebook Group

This group is a place to post uplifting affirmations and thoughts about prosperity and abundant living. Let's create a right relationship with money so that we feel comfortable about money. Let's use money as it's meant to be used, and not as a way to accumulate power or to fill a void. We don't need money to buy more stuff. We need it to create a world that works for everyone. We want to cast off old beliefs of lack and reclaim our natural state of abundance.

  Anne's Schedule

All times here are Central Time
unless otherwise specified.

Friday, August 10, 2018
Workshop: 9:00 AM-3:00 PM EDT
"Reducing Stress by Connecting With the Body" 5 CE credits $50.00
Bring Your Lunch or Purchase for $11
Location: "The Cottage," 122 Alicia Drive, Summerville, SC
Must Register by August 7, 2018
Click for Flyer & to Register Online
To Register by Mail, send Name,
Address & Contact Info to
Anne S. Gillis, c/o Elizabeth Wann
574 Chimney Bluff Dr.
Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464
Make Checks Payable to Anne S. Gillis
Refund Requires 48 hrs. Notice

Friday, August 17, 2018
Workshop: 9:00 AM-3:00 PM EDT
"Handling Life's Biggest Challenges:
Body, Relationships, & Money"
5 CE credits $50.00
Bring Your Lunch or Purchase for $11
Location: "The Cottage," 122 Alicia Drive, Summerville, SC
Must Register by August 14, 2018
Click for Flyer & to Register Online
To Register by Mail, send Name,
Address & Contact Info to
Anne S. Gillis, c/o Elizabeth Wann
574 Chimney Bluff Dr.
Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464
Make Checks Payable to Anne S. Gillis
Refund Requires 48 hrs. Notice

Contact Anne to book your event:
281-419-1775 or anne@annegillis.com.