The Anne Report, Managing Life's Upsets, suggests that we can avoid some of the angst of life's upsets by simply becoming aware of them and then choosing appropriate actions to correct them. The Main article, True Confessions, shows how our lives, though similar to a soap opera, hold creative opportunities for us. The Healthy Living article, Fresh Carrot Cake Recipe, provides a quick, easy, and tasty recipe for you. The Anne Talk, Don’t Commit Who-I-Cide, shows how we often live as "who we aren't" instead of as "who we are." The Featured Product This Month is Anne's book, Words Make a Difference. Click to read What is EZosophy? Click to join Anne's Abundance Affirmations. Click for Shareables From Anne.

The EZ Mantra: "Everything can be EZ or at least EZier." -- Anne Sermons Gillis

Living EZosophy, December 18, 2018
Published Weekly on Tuesday Mornings

Phone: 713.922.0242
Email: anne@annegillis.com

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  The Anne Report

Managing Life's Upsets

Dear ,

I just had my second Christmas surprise. I ordered a present for my son-in-law and, due to a mix-up, the item was sold out and will not be delivered as expected. The surprise is the sheer panic I had over the situation. One would think that I had encountered a life-threatening situation. Yet, I wasn't on the edge of a steep cliff, nor was I hanging on the tip of life due to dehydration. While the situation was inconvenient, it was not a tragedy.

It's that darn brain. The brain is wired to react in certain ways, and the amygdala is the culprit. It controls fear. I had to have an Anne to an amygdala talk: "Okay Amy, its okay. Take a deep breath and let go. All is well. You are safe." Little Amy settled down, but my gut still holds the shadows of the upset. It's a dangerous place to be if we are unaware of the chemicals that call the shots in our bodies. These shadows of feelings, these whispers of uneasiness, are the ones we try to shop over, drink over, eat over, sex over, work over, or pass onto others. Getting from a position of chemical upset, back to our safe spot, requires one thing – awareness. The more we stay aware of those shadows, the less they influence our behaviors and the quicker they will go away. We will have upsets during the holidays. It's a given. When there is more activity, there are more chances for upset.

Awareness is not the same thing as feeling our feelings. Feeling our feelings often results in collapsing into our feelings, with a vengeance, and opens us to the possibility of going down an endless rabbit hole of despair. In contrast, awareness of what we are feeling, allows the feeling to begin to dissipate. Noticing the sensations in the body, such as shortness of breath or a tightening in the chest, are ways to assist the awareness process. I'm sitting now, feeling those sensations in my body. My husband is ordering a similar sweater, and soon the event will be a past memory. Facing our fears may be a good thing, but being aware of what's happening inside is one of the most redemptive acts we might offer to our well-being. And that's it for the Anne Report.

Anne

  Main Article

True Confessions

True confessions. I watch a soap opera. I've watched it since I was a young woman. I stopped watching for several years, then married a man who watched my soap. While the marriage was brief and a HUGE mistake (think rebound), the marriage fortunately dissolved, but the soap opera watching continued. Since the divorce, I've continued to watch my soap for 38 years. And for clarity, and to save my husband Jim from undue ridicule, he does not watch any soaps. I can get him to watch a chick flick or two, but a soap – no way.

What is this ignominious show? Days of Our Lives. While it can be hokey, it is also true to life. It is easy to see, when it's on screen, how secrets ruin lives; how alcohol can destroy relationships and harm others, and how prescription drugs become addictions, even for the most respected citizens of Salem. The show addresses society's toughest topics: abortion, gay marriage, climate change, and marital mutiny.

Days, also known as DOOL, opens displaying an hourglass with sand pouring downward. The long-deceased Tom Horton, family patriarch, speaks, "like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives." The show launches with a truism: our days slip by quickly.

Soaps pull off scenarios that can't happen in real life. People, who previously died, routinely are resurrected. These comebacks are like our problems. Just when we think our habits and emotional instabilities are in our past, they pop up with a fierceness that not only humbles us, it debilitates us.

Our lives are like soap operas. Soaps drag things on; we drag things on. Soaps play repeats of certain events; we mentally replay life's events, especially the painful ones.

What can we learn from soap operas?

Loyalty to family. Soap opera characters may go too far to protect their own, but they are, for the most part, fiercely loyal. A father will go to jail for a crime his son committed. A mother will hide a secret for her child; a brother will risk his life to save a family member. No matter how many disagreements they have, all is ultimately forgiven. Our lesson: Is our love stronger than our pain? Can we forgive and move on?

Nothing lasts. Soaps offer an online version of Ecclesiastes 3. This chapter speaks to the impermanent nature of life. Soap plots turn quickly. The person who was ready to commit suicide finds true love. The person who is on their death bed has a miraculous recovery. Our lesson: Can we be flexible? Can we wait long enough for our happy ending, without spoiling life day by day? Can we live without being embittered and washed away by life's changing tides?

Secrets always come out. It doesn't matter how carefully a secret is guarded; it comes out. Our lesson: Best to come clean on the front end rather than wait until later to reveal the secret. It may sting a little to tell the whole truth, but when we wait, the damage can be catastrophic. Will we be brave enough to own up and fess up to what we've done? Our secrets make us sick, and revealing them unburdens us.

Wonderful people make tragic mistakes. No one is immune. Even the most respected, level-headed, sensible people eventually goof up. From the one-time marital slip up, which always results in pregnancy, to the jealous antics of a disgruntled ex-lover, everyone makes mistakes or operates under the influence of dysfunctional behaviors. Our lesson: Can we see the innocence of who we are, rather than identifying with our impulsive or foolish actions or behaviors? Can we do the same with others?

We all love our entertainment, especially during the holidays. Christmases are sweet at the Horton and Brady households (the two major families in the soap). The two families' lives are bound together though marriage and friendship. Each year they hang a special ornament on the Horton Christmas tree that bears the name of a family member. Many of the family members, whose ornaments they hang, are deceased. Just watching the show during the holiday season, gives me the warm fuzzies. It's like watching the Hallmark channel, the ultimate feel good channel, during the holidays. Our lesson: It's normal to want feel goods during the holiday season. Find some. When I was a young divorcee, I made it a habit to go to an incredible restaurant I couldn't afford, so as not to have to spend the holiday alone at home. I would invite a friend who didn't have plans and we would have an amazing time. We can create feel-goods over the holidays. Why not? Now a day at home alone during the holidays seems like a treat; yes, I've changed!

Food reigns. While there may not be a lesson in this, my soap opera features food. From Gran's famous doughnuts to the famous Brady clam chowder, food is important. There are dinners, picnics, and strawberries for lovers. Food speaks the universal language of harmony and community and constitutes an integral part of our lives. Our lesson: Create family food traditions. One of my traditions is a home-made carrot cake made with whole wheat and sweetened with honey. I've made it for years for my birthday.

Here's an example of some of the silly scenarios from the soap. Julia, who has been on the show since 1968, had a spiritual awakening. Her depiction of a New Age devotee was hilarious. While it is okay to follow some of the tenets of New Age thinking, some of it can be ridiculous. Her exaggerated need to be peaceful in the face of everything caused some powerful guffawing. She was the archetype of how absurd it is to apply fundamentalist thinking to all disciplines.

I used to be embarrassed to say I watched a soap opera. People's heads would almost spin, then they would howl, "You watch a soap opera?" I hid this for a long time. I thought this was an unspiritual behavior I shouldn't be associated with. It was my secret. But eventually I came out of my soap opera closet and never looked back. It's great when I find another Days devotee. We can talk confidently with each other about possible story lines and about what we don't want to happen.

While our lives might be like a soap opera, they are different in many ways. Our plots or scripts are not predetermined. We have the privilege and the responsibility of reaching beyond our foibles to create a life that works for us. We need to be easy on ourselves and those around us, live with a forgiving nature, and create times of togetherness and joy, because when we do, life becomes EZier and EZier.

Anne

  Quotes

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 Featured Product This Month

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Click for the Kindle version on Amazon for $5.99.

  What is EZosophy?

Click the image to learn about EZosophy.

NOTE: If viewing this on a cell phone, be sure to scroll right to see the other column.

  Healthy Living

Fresh Carrot Cake Recipe

As I mentioned earlier, I love to make a carrot cake for my birthday. I found this carrot cake recipe years ago in the Whole Earth Cookbook. This was a time before the Internet and when the idea of vegetarianism was less prevalent.

Here's the recipe.

• 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon of maze
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• 1 cup of butter
• 1-1/2 cups of honey
• 4 eggs
• 1-1/2 cups of grated carrots
• 3 teaspoons baking powder
• 2 cups of whole wheat white flour (King Arthur's)
• 1 cup hot water
• 2/3 cup of chopped nuts

Blend spices and butter. Gradually add honey and beat well. Beat in eggs one at a time and stir in carrots. Sift baking powder with flour and add alternately with hot water. Add nuts and beat well. Put in greased 9 by 13 inch pan. Bake 35 minutes at 350° until done. Frost with honey and cream cheese icing.

Honey and Cream Cheese Icing

Here's the recipe for the honey and cream cheese icing. Mix honey and room temperature large sized cream cheese until a desired consistency. Spread on cake.

I substituted the whole wheat white flour for the unbleached and whole wheat flour called for in the original recipe.

This cake seems almost healthy. It serves as a dessert and a breakfast food. It is very dense, so if you like a robust cake, this one's for you. Happy baking.

If you have any healthy living tips for the newsletter, send them to me at anne@annegillis.com.

  Anne Talk

Don’t Commit Who-I-Cide

Anne's video, Don’t Commit Who-I-Cide, shows how we often live as "who we aren't" instead of "who we are." Time: 4:49

  Anne Art

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Special Announcement

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  Abundance Affirmations

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  Shareables From Anne

The World's Best Weight Loss Secret

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  Anne's Schedule

All times here are Central Time
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Sunday, December 23, 2018
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