Anne's Note shows us how we can Make Winter EZier. Anne's main article, Do I Need You or Do I Want You? shows us how to have equal relationships. Healthy Living's article provides a tasty Yogurt Breakfast Drink. The Anne Talk is Anne's meditation video, Love is Now. The Featured Product this month is Anne's book, Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic.

The EZ Mantra: "Everything can be EZ or at least EZier." – Anne Sermons Gillis

Living EZosophy, February 16, 2016
Published Weekly on Tuesday Mornings

Phone: 281-419-1775
Email: anne@annegillis.com

Anne's Websites:

  A Note From Anne

Dear ,

We have been experiencing beautiful weather in The Woodlands, Texas, north of Houston. It's been near 80 degrees for several days. It feels like we're cheating nature. What a treat. I feel peppier when the sun shines and the temp is mild. I think it's universal; we respond to the weather. Responding is great, but reacting is childish. Reacting means complaining. Responding means we know the weather can affect our moods, but we have the ability to construct our emotions in a way that brings harmony into our lives – even during inclement weather.

Instead of cold, we can think cozy. We can get out the fleece and snuggle up. Instead of feeling trapped inside, we can read an adventure novel or call a friend. And, most important of all, we can get our energy moving. When we are wigged out or depressed, it means our energy is stuck. We get energy from the sun, but when it's cloudy and the days are short, we don't get the sunlight energy and our physical energy slows and we get draggy. I have a friend who sets her alarm clock to ring on the hour, and she gets up and jumps for two minutes. How clever.

We have to take extra care in the winter, so rather than grousing about the weather, let's do the things that get us through the low energy times. Winter requires a different strategy than summer. The sun gives us a free energy lunch, but when it's not there, we can create a much easier and enjoyable winter. Happy winter.

Anne

  Do I Need You or Do I Want You?

Until we experience moksha, spiritual liberation, we live life from the vantage point of problems. We see life itself as a problem and we dissect that one problem into personal, individualized problems. Much of our energy is consumed in finding ways to mitigate the idea that life is a problem. Any leftover energy we have from fighting life as a problem, which takes a lot of offense and defense, is spent on our problem of the day, week, or month. Little do we know that the problem is not life; it is our unresolved feelings that lie trapped beneath our awareness.

One of the favorite ways we have of dealing with the big problem is to get into relationships. They can be special love relationships or codependent relationships. Marriage, partnership, or friendship provide a temporary fix for the loneliness or discomfort with life.

We interview people and sum them up when we meet them. Each person fits into one of two categories: "You're better than I am" or "I'm better than you." If I'm in the "you're better than I am" category, then I will need you in some way. My mind will strategize a plan of action. It starts by seeing the benefits. Maybe you can teach me, enlighten me, or advise me on how to be as rich and successful as you. Maybe if I'm close to you, I can be as peaceful, self-assured, or as spiritual as you. Maybe you will take care of me and I will be safe and happy. If I do actually get into a relationship with that person, I will always be in suck up mode. It will be subtle, but it will always define our relationship.

If I'm in the "I'm better than you" category, then you need something I have. I can fix you, teach you, or improve the quality of your life. I can feel superior and use my energy helping you out and fixing you and your life. You might even become very dependent on me. If we get in a relationship, I could even feel trapped, but I would prefer feeling trapped than lonely. Your needing me gives my life temporary absolution from feeling my pain; I'm too busy feeling yours.

Given these two categories, most relationships are built on need, not want. One person is always one up and the other is one down. There is no equal footing and everyone loses. Forget egalitarianism. We are either grasping to get something from another or feeling superior and using our time and energy on someone else. Holding someone's life together is not a very good occupation, and being an adult child, needing others to take care of us, is equally as destructive.

Getting into a relationship out of need causes so many problems. It's like taking our personal pain and sharing it with others. When we share our pain with others in that way, it doesn't heal; it multiples.

I once had a friend whose life was perpetually falling through the cracks. She needed a ride, she didn't have money, her dog was stolen – the drama was high. I decided to not have an "I'm better than you" relationship. I listened to her problems and didn't help except when it was relatively easy or when I felt guided to. She eventually moved from Houston. When she passed away suddenly, one of her family members called with the news. Her sister said she would have wanted me to know and related how my friend admired and loved me. I was one of her best friends. It was an equal relationship. I had not tried to fix her life, but many people had abandoned her because she seemed like a gaping black hole and they couldn't be around her without trying to pull her back from the edge. I loved her and let her stay on the edge. Even though I didn't attend the funeral, I sent a piece from my heart to be read at her funeral. She lived a rather short and tragic life, but I will always be glad we were friends. She had very little herself, but she exuded generosity. Had I been "better than she," I would have missed her brilliance.

Next time you meet someone, notice how the mind tends to put him/her in the "you’re better than I am/I need you" or the "I’m better than you/you need me" category. Relax into that awareness without judgment. Then ask this question: Can I enjoy this interaction without needing to get anything or give advice or help? Then listen with an unencumbered mind. Whether they blither or blather, act conceited, seem lost, or witty, just hold the space for love. If you find your mind going to the I'm better than you place because I am a better conversationalist or I'm better than you because I have more talent, knowledge, money, etc., opt out of that inner dialogue.

If you see the person as more than you, happier than you, more successful than you – stop it. That’s the "you’re better than I am" talk. Return to your heart and renew your intention to create a space of love. Stay aware of your inner dialogue. Place your hand discreetly over your heart chakra. See a green, flowing energy moving in your heart. Think to yourself, "I am loved and safe in your presence and you are loved and safe in my presence." Radiate that. After they leave, observe your energy level. If you have stayed with the love space, you will feel at ease and relaxed.

After you practice this with someone you've just met, try to use it on the people you already know. When we move people into the love/respect spot in our hearts, they can feel the shift. While it takes some time and practice to move into equal relationships with others, it is possible. And when we make the shift, we feel more vitality and peace. When we continually vibrate that love, some people will exit our lives. Our energies just won't match. But new people, who can support and love us as equals, will be attracted.

This is a healing practice. It takes awareness and tenacity, but when you become the space for love, miracles happen, and your life becomes EZier and EZier.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Anne

  Quotes

"Too often we lack the courage to follow our flow, to do what we know is right for us, or to act on our healthy impulses. We go the way we know is not right for us. Don't be surprised. This is human. We can be frail and under effective. Self-judgment compounds any situation. Let it go."
— Anne Sermons Gillis

"We try so hard to hang on to the teachings and 'get it,' but actually the truth sinks in like rain into very hard earth. The rain is very gentle, and we soften up slowly, at our own speed. But when that happens, something has fundamentally changed in us. That hard earth has softened. It doesn't seem to happen by trying to get it or capture it. It happens by letting go, it happens by relaxing your mind, and it happens by the aspiration and the longing to want to communicate with yourself and others. Each of us finds our own way. Let everything stop your mind and let everything open your heart."
— Pema Chodron

"Choosing love is an act of courage. We all carry courage deep inside our hearts."
— Cindy Paull

  Featured Product This Month

  What is EZosophy?

Click the graphic above to learn more.

NOTE: If you are viewing this on a cell phone, be sure to scroll to the right to see the other column.

  Healthy Living

Yogurt Breakfast Drink

Want a simple, easy to make breakfast drink? I'm always open to delicious breakfast treats. This drink is made with yogurt, so it may not be for everyone, but it is so good.

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons of ground flax seeds
• ¾ cup fresh squeezed orange juice (I buy fresh squeezed from the market.)
• ¾ cup plain yogurt

You can reduce the portion, just use equal amounts of orange juice to yogurt. Mix and you are good to go.

I love this so much I actually eat it as a dessert. It satisfies my sweet tooth. The added fiber helps keep the blood sugar level. This drink does not go from my lips to my hips! I love it. It's much like a lassie, but the restaurants use sugar in lassies. This drink is sweet enough without sugar. If you prefer a more tart taste, use less orange juice.

  Anne Talks

Click to watch Anne's beautiful meditation video, Love Is Now. It's a great resource for enhancing the awareness of love. Time: 14:55

  Anne Art

Click the image to see a larger view.

Click the image to see a larger view.

  Anne's Schedule

Thursday, February 18, 2016
10:30 AM-12:30 PM, "EZosophy"
Thomas A. Glazier Senior Educ. Center
16600 Pine Forest Lane
Houston, Texas
For information contact:
Lisa Rice at lrice@pct3.com

Saturday, March 5, 2016
10 AM-12 noon, Free Lecture
The Houston Theosophical Society
1550 Heights Blvd.
Houston, Texas 77008

Sunday, March 6, 2016
10:15 AM, "Spiritual Freedom"
Unity of North Houston
"Alive, Awake, Aware" Workshop
After the service; light meal served.
Conscious Giving $10.00 - $25.00
according to your ability to give.
11738 Grant Road
Cypress, Texas 77429 - 281-374-7085

Call or Email Anne Now to Schedule Your Next Meeting with her.

You may reach Anne by phone at 281-419-1775 or click the button below to contact Anne by email. Anne is also available to officiate at weddings and funerals.