Anne's Note talks about Life in The Magic Kingdom. The Main article, The Fixer's Prayer, spotlights a common intrusion we might make into another's life that's well-intentioned but potentially disempowering to them. The Healthy Living article, Body Toddy, provides ways to think yourself healthier. The Anne Talk is Living in Ease. Listen to learn how Anne makes her life EZier. The Featured Product this month is Anne's first book, Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic.

The EZ Mantra: "Everything can be EZ or at least EZier." – Anne Sermons Gillis

Living EZosophy, July 19, 2016
Published Weekly on Tuesday Mornings

Phone: 281-419-1775
Email: anne@annegillis.com

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  A Note From Anne

Life in The Magic Kingdom

Dear ,

It's a scorcher in Texas. While my mind doesn't mind the heat, my body won't allow me to work in the yard very long. I love the outside. I call it the Magic Kingdom. The other day I worked in the yard for a while, then I'd sit by my outside fan with my feet in a bucket of water. It takes some ingenuity to work in 90° to 100° weather, but it is possible. If I waited for the Texas weather to cooperate, I would be inside all the time.

I don't know if fairies exist, but if they do, they are some in my back yard. Some say the earth has an energy body and when we stay inside our homes and offices, we fail to get the earth energy we need to flourish. This energy blankets the ground, and when we walk on the earth, the energy "grounds" us.  People and animals have auras, and so does our earth. An aura is actually the energy around our bodies and around the earth body that some people can see.

Talking about earth, physical energy, and auras might seem weird to some people, but I can't see radio waves, but I know they exist. More than 25% of the Christian population believe in past lives and 3 out of 4 people believe in the paranormal.  54% of Americans believe in the psychic or mental healing power of the human mind. We are moving from a show me culture to a more intuitive culture. It looks like we are falling apart, given the recent violence, but, in some ways, we are falling together. We need something more powerful than our reasoning minds to craft a new, workable society and, given the above statistics, we may be headed in the right direction.

Anne

  Main Article

The Fixer's Prayer

One day, while stopped at a traffic light, I noticed a truck bed full of day laborers. We were both stopped for that two-minute light. Their truck was in front of my car; I could clearly see their faces. I immediately started praying for their well-being, health, and prosperity. My inner voice almost screeched, "Stop." I was taken aback by this admonishment, but I've been around that "voice" long enough to know it's wise to listen and to know it's always right. Some inner voices are not worth listening to, but there's one voice that leads the choir of my best thoughts.

So the voice says, "Look at those men. What do you see? Are they happy? Do they look like they are having fun?" I looked and they were jovial. If they had any woes or worries, the harshness had not wiped away their joy of living. Then the voice asked, "How have you been lately?" I knew that I had been so stressed that any possible bliss was overshadowed by the duties of holding together "my world."

I didn't need any further instruction to understand the point. My spiritual superiority was running my moment, not my authentic self. I had invoked the prejudice of inequality and sympathy and used what I thought were good intentions to fix the problems I imagined these men suffered. I quickly changed my prayer to "May I be assured of my innocence, lack of malice, and be here with my brothers, as friends in unconditional joy. May the delight they have extend to me and all the human family. I give thanks for the good in their lives and the good in my life too." This prayer moved me from the position of trying to fix them to joining with them as equals.

During a similar event a friend shared about his recent health challenge. I comforted him, and when he was being radically honest about his emotions, I stepped in to say that his feelings were okay. Every good therapist knows that when you interrupt, summarize, analyze, and act like the person needs help to feel okay, you interrupt the person and their process and they don't feel heard or gotten. There are times when comfort is appropriate, but without being fully aware of the situation, I jumped into his life as an adviser, not as a friend. I could feel the energy change. I felt sleazy.

When I arrived home I wrote the following prayer to remind me to listen, be present, and not try to fix others' lives.

The Fixer's Prayer

Help me stay out of other people's problems and upsets by not making unsolicited helpful comments and remarks. Forgive me for analyzing others' situations. Help me listen more and to be more interested in what others are saying, than in promoting myself or my agenda. Let me not console people so much but rather let me be radiantly present, and give them a safe and sacred place to be heard. And It Is So.

When I am socializing, I don't like to be fixed, corrected, or informed of what I am doing wrong, nor do I like people to give me unsolicited advice. I want to be heard, not fixed. While verbally expressed concern, compassion, and empathy are great qualities, and often called for, they are not always the best response. People do not want solutions. They don't want their train of thought interrupted, and that is okay. We do not need to give other people unsolicited solutions to their problems. People want to be heard and they want their friends to trust them to handle their lives, not fix them. When people want advice, they ask for it. We need to trust that people do not want our solution to their problem unless they ask for it. Sometimes when I am unclear I ask, "Do you need emotional support or do you want solutions?" Most of the time, they respond, "I just need you to listen."

I wrote a similar prayer that appears in Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic. It's the Codependent's Prayer, and it speaks to staying out of others' lives when it harms us and disempowers them by not doing so.

Codependent's Prayer

God, grant me the grace to let others have their addictions, upsets, and imperfections, without trying to fix them, change them, or solve their problems. Give me the courage to say "No" when I want to and the wisdom to reach out for help when I am in denial. Heal my need to please others or control them. Help me to accept with serenity my imperfections. Open my vision so that I know I am precious, and make me aware that my expression is valuable. AMEN.

Let's take the EZier approach to friendship and let our friends have their problems and trust them to handle their lives without us jumping in to fix the things they can handle themselves, because when we do, we find that our lives become EZier and EZier.

Anne

  Quotes

"We don’t have to fix everything. There’s nothing wrong with something being wrong."
— Anne Sermons Gillis

"Get me out of the shepherd role and place me in the heard. I want to be a hear – her, hear – him."
— Anne Sermons Gillis

"We have the capacity to rest our minds in nurturing words and thoughts. Thoughts are things; they move our lives in many directions. Which direction do we plan to go? Toward vitality and joy or toward drama? Asking and answering this question keeps us in the flow of what we want and wakes us up to our true heart’s desire."
— Anne Sermons Gillis

  Featured Product This Month

  What is EZosophy?

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  Healthy Living

Body Toddy

Even though we have bodies, we are not our bodies. Bodies come in different colors, sizes, and shapes. To receive maximum benefits from our bodies, we must take care of them, think of them with warm regard, feed them well, exercise them, and provide sunlight and rest for them.

Psychology becomes biology. Mental healing leads to physical healing. We cannot be robustly healthy when we hold negative psychological patterns as a way of life. Radiant health requires that we replace fear with safety, guilt with innocence, self-criticism with support and approval, and resentment with acceptance. We must release the past and the hold it has on us.

Life-affirming messages feed the body and soul. They are like a body tonic or a body toddy. These messages provide motivation and inspiration that make it much easier to bring about a state of physical well-being. Down with dis-ease. Up with ease.

Feed the following affirmations to your mind and body:

• Every morning I wake up feeling a little better.
• I am mentally and physically endowed with strength, flexibility, and power.
• My body is established in strength.
• I am strong.
• My body is established in health.
• I am healthy.
• I have a robust immune system.
• My bones are strong and my body is flexible.
• My body is in perfect alignment.
• I am the healthiest person I know.
• I live in a constant state of renewal and regeneration.
• I am filled with vitality.
• I feel healthy.
• I am healthier and healthier every day.
• My health is restored.
• I am attracted to the perfect mindsets, belief systems, foods, thoughts, and health practices needed to maintain a healthy body.
• I intuitively make choices that nourish and nurture my body.
• I intuitively know how to heal my body.
• I believe in, listen to, and act on my intuition.

Change any affirmation to make it your own even, if you have to proceed the affirmation with "I wish I believed _________________." Read them right before you go to bed at night and let your mind feast on them as you sleep.

  Anne Talks

Today's Anne Talk is Living in Ease. It was delivered at Northwoods Unitarian Universalist Church in The Woodlands, TX, on April 19, 2015. Time: 24:15.

  Anne Art

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  Anne's Schedule

All times here are Central Time.

Sunday, August 21, 2016
11 AM Service: "Spiritual Freedom"
Carmel Temple
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South Houston TX 77587
Phone:713-944-0014

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You may reach Anne by phone at 281-419-1775 or click the button below to contact Anne by email. Anne is also available to officiate at weddings and funerals.