The Anne Report, Adjusting Our Habits, shows us that life can require us to make changes to our habits. The Main article, Spiritual Reboot, provides help when all of your personal work seems to be getting you nowhere. The Healthy Living article, Healthy Habits, reminds us that we may need to revisit our habits to ensure that they are still serving us well. The Anne Talk is Anne's video, Take Five - Guided Meditation. The Featured Product this month highlights Anne's first book, Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic. Click to read What is EZosophy?  Click here to learn about Anne's newest book, Words Make a Difference.

The EZ Mantra: "Everything can be EZ or at least EZier." – Anne Sermons Gillis

Living EZosophy, June 27, 2017
Published Weekly on Tuesday Mornings

Phone: 281-419-1775
Email: anne@annegillis.com

Anne's Websites:

  The Anne Report

Adjusting Our Habits

Dear ,

Our sweet dog, Lucy, injured her hind leg. Much of our exercise plan is centered around walking her. Her walking schedule was 10 minutes early in the AM, 45 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes in the afternoon, and 10 minutes at night. This gave Jim and me adequate exercise and, for Lucy, the walks were the delight of her life. It’s been an adjustment for everyone. Now we take her on three short walks that move at a snail’s pace. We are scrambling to develop a new routine. We have plenty of options, but we were habituated to the walks, so they came easily. Now we want to establish new habits. Good luck to us and please send some prayers for Lucy’s healing. That’s it for the weekly Anne Report.

Anne

  Main Article

Spiritual Reboot

When I was in my 30’s, I became aware of spiritual bypassing. “A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks." The term was introduced in the early 1980’s by John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist.” (Source)

Unfortunately, I was an expert at spiritual bypassing. I used my beliefs to cover up pain and deny dangerous situations and unhealthy relationships. Meditation unlocked the deeper realms, but wisdom pulled me into co-dependence recovery. I tried almost every kind of 12 Step recovery group, including Overeaters Anonymous and AA (I didn’t have an alcohol addiction, but attended some open meetings; I ran into some wise people there.), and found that each group offered a unique twist to my healing journey.

Below is a list of unhealthy behaviors that signal poor interpersonal boundaries. The first rule of thumb in recovery is to handle the substance addictions: get clean, get sober, and then heal the deeper emotional causes of one’s struggles. This is called personal work. One cannot be spiritually fit when they are unable to pay their bills, get along with others, or feel taken advantage of all the time. These signs of unhealthy personal boundaries point to deeper problems that must be addressed before we can fully accept our spiritual heritage.

• Telling all.
• Talking at an intimate level at the first meeting.
• Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
• Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.
• Being overwhelmed by a person - preoccupied.
• Acting on the first sexual impulse.
• Being sexual for your partner, not yourself.
• Going against personal values or rights to please others.
• Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.
• Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries.
• Accepting food, gifts, touch, or sex that you don't want.
• Touching a person without asking.
• Taking as much as you can get, for the sake of getting.
• Giving as much as you can give, for the sake of giving.
• Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
• Letting others direct your life.
• Letting others describe your reality.
• Letting others define you.
• Believing others can anticipate your needs.
• Expecting others to fill your needs automatically.
• Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
• Self-abuse.
• Sexual and physical abuse.
• Food and chemical abuse.

The above list is from Recovery.org and it covers boundary issues, but there are many other issues one finds in codependency. Codependency is a result of not learning how to take care of oneself while growing up. This sets one up for covering up and denying problems and personal dysfunction. Poor boundaries are signs of codependency. Other signs include:

• Rebellion against healthy authority figures, such as an employee or the police. Of course, one needs to rebel against abuse, but not all people in power are abusive.
• Not handling money properly. This includes overspending, not planning, buying too much, always being broke.
• People pleasing.
• Being consistently late to work.
• Denial patterns.
• Compliance patterns.
• Low self-esteem patterns.
• Revenge patterns - failing in one’s personal life because their parents wanted them to succeed. Or they might try to get even with parents by subconsciously setting up their spouse or other close personal relationships to be their parents and they take out their unresolved anger on them as parent substitute figures.
• Hoarding and cluttering.
• Poor personal hygiene.

If you identify with the above symptoms and want help, start with Pia Melody’s seminal book, Facing Codependency. Once you read the book, you can follow up with the workbook, Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence.

In 1990, I went to Gurumayi’s ashram, which is north of Mumbai, India. One day a group of ten people, all Americans, were sharing, and eight of the 10 attended a 12 Step recovery meeting. While I no longer attend a meeting, the 20 years I spent in the meetings provided immeasurable support and many healing opportunities. Many cities have codependency meetings and there are even online resources. You may also find the following prayer helpful.

Co-dependency Prayer *

God, grant me the grace to let others have their addictions, upsets, and imperfections, without trying to fix them, change them, or solve their problems. Give me the courage to say “No” when I want to and the wisdom to reach out for help when I am in denial. Heal my need to please others or control them. Help me to accept with serenity my imperfections. Open my vision so that I know I am precious, and make me aware that my expression is valuable. Amen.

* Excerpt from Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic © 1989 Easy Times Press, Anne Sermons Gillis, AnneGillis.com.

If you are tripping over your life, regardless of all your meditations, your affirmations, and your assertiveness classes, you may need a spiritual reboot. The ground on which we stand must be filled with common sense and the ability to live in the world and take care of ourselves.

I provide coaching for codependency and raising self-esteem. If interested, please call or contact me for more information. Click here for my contact information.

Anne

  Quotes

Anne Quotes

"We see through our thoughts. Unfortunately, many of our thoughts were placed in our minds by others. We have looked through them for so long that we think they are unique and original thoughts. Thoughts can be feeling thoughts, which we call emotions, or intellectual thoughts, that contain what we believe to be facts of information. Some of the borrowed thoughts hold anger, fear, and pain, while others hold peace, joy, or self-confidence. Some thoughts contain prejudices against ourselves and others. Whether we hold good thoughts or bad thoughts, it’s important to find out from the source of our selves what we truly believe."

"Do you want an EZier life? Try this. Don’t keep a mental list of how much you must do during the day and tell everyone about your upcoming difficult day. Don’t try to outdo another’s recitation of their to do list. Don’t play the dueling to do list game."

  Featured Product This Month

Click here to check out Anne's newest book, Words Make A Difference, a book of affirmations, action plans, and deep insights into the human consciousness that transforms and heals the soul, the local and global community, and the planet. Travel with Gillis on a journey through deep psychology, metaphysics, and nondualism.

  Healthy Living

Healthy Habits

Habits are often invisible. People put the same foot in their pants every day and never notice this habit. We drive the same way to the store and often eat the same foods. Some habits are helpful, but others are not good for us. Who would have thought that these habits are questionable?

1. Commode sitting. The way we sit on the commode is not beneficial to elimination. Before civilization, we squatted when we pooped. This stimulates our bowels and makes pooping easier. To remedy the problem, place a foot stool under your feet when pooping or try a Squatty Potty.
2. Sleeping eight hours a night is touted as the standard for health, but if our ancestors slept eight hours in a row, they would not have survived. It is normal to wake up at night, and it is normal to sleep a few hours, then get up and resume our activities, then sleep another few hours. This is not the norm, and our work day doesn’t allow this, but many cultures support a siesta. This is food for thought, and there are many articles written on this topic.
3. House cleaning – Once we find a product that works, we keep it on hand, yet studies show that cleaning solutions and air fresheners may account for as many as one in seven asthma cases. It's best to clean with products like Mrs. Myers or Seventh Generation, but if you have time, try making your own healthy solutions. My go to for cleaning almost everything is white vinegar. Check out the Earth Easy website for more nontoxic cleaning solutions.

Biting our fingernails and picking our noses are bad habits, but many of the habits we never question are also unhealthy for us. The three habits mentioned above are worthy of questioning, as is examining every action we take, to be sure the choice we made 10 years ago is still a good choice and serves us well. Stay conscious, stay informed, and examine your habits. Because when you do, you will find that your life is EZier and EZier.

If you have any healthy living tips for the newsletter, send them to me at anne@annegillis.com.

  Anne Talks

Take Five - Guided Meditation

  Anne Art

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NOTICE: Here are two shareables from Anne. Feel free to pass them along.

The World's Best Weight Loss Secret

Thought Freedom

  Anne's Schedule

All times here are Central Time
unless otherwise specified.

Sunday, July 9, 2017
Unity Circle of Light
10:30 AM Service
"The Path to Conscious Awakening"
Creekside Elementary School
5949 Creekside Forest Dr.
The Woodlands, TX 77379

Saturday, August 5, 2017
Workshop, 9 AM - 3 PM EDT
"Ending the Suffering Syndrome:
The EZosophy Philosophy" $45.00
5 hours LPC, CE credits for LPC
Location: "The Cottage"
122 Alicia Drive
Summerville, SC
Click Here for Registration

Friday, August 11, 2017
Workshop, 9 AM - 3 PM EDT
"Building Self Esteem and Courage"
5 hours LPC, CE credits for LPC
Location: "The Cottage"
122 Alicia Drive
Summerville, SC
Click Here for Registration

Call or Email Anne Now to Schedule Her for Your Meeting.

You may reach Anne by phone at 281-419-1775 or click the button below to contact Anne by email. Anne is also available to officiate at weddings and funerals.